Parenting Alive

Oprah's OWN Show on OWN TV - Megan Aronson

2010-06-26T13:13:00.000-07:00

Vote for Me to Get My OWN Show on Oprah's New Network!

2010-06-19T12:08:00.000-07:00

Hi friends and family!

I need your help! I have a chance to make my ultimate dream come true - hosting my OWN show on Oprah's new OWN network! I have spent weeks putting together a 3 minute video audition and I'm pleased to say it just went online! Now, I need your help voting for it online. You can vote as many times a day as you want until July 3rd when the contest ends. That's just 15 days away so I need everyone I know and everyone you know voting as many times a day as possible til then.

I believe I can get over 3 million votes in 15 days because I have so many wonderful friends and family like you who truly believe in me and want to see me succeed. I know with your support we can rally a huge network of people together to vote vote vote and get me on the show! Then we can all be part of something amazing together.

So, will you help make my dream come true?!

CLICK ON THIS LINK RIGHT NOW, CHECK OUT MY VIDEO AND VOTE FOR ME! USE THE BACK BUTTON AND VOTE AGAIN AND AGAIN AS MANY TIMES AS YOU CAN. I DARE YOU TO VOTE FOR ME 50 TIMES RIGHT NOW! Then do it again tomorrow and the day after and so on! (FYI: Votes don't register immediately so just keep voting and the numbers will catch up eventually)

http://myown.oprah.com/audition/index.html?request=video_details&response_id=7233&promo_id=1

I'm asking you right now to forward this email to EVERYONE in your address book. Please add your personal comments telling them why you think they should vote for me. Then post the link on your Facebook, Twitter, your Blog, everywhere you can!

For those you forward this onto who might not know me, here's a little bit about me. I'm Megan Aronson. I'm 29 years old. I have 2 beautiful kids. I just gave birth to my son 3 months ago! I have been hosting my own small town TV show for the last 5 years but due to the recession, I got laid off in December. Great time to decide to be a Stay At Home Mom! I'm making the best of everything I've been given and I can truly say I'm living my dreams. I want to help people "find what they love and love what they find" - that is my dream, to give people back to themselves, to bring them back to life. Last year was one of the worst years of our lives but I've managed to find a way to turn it into something good. I want to help millions of people do the same.

Again, you can vote as many times a day as you want...every day til July 3rd!

The top 5 video-makers will automatically be flown to L.A. to be considered to be one of the 10 finalists that make it on the reality T.V. show produced by Mark Burnett (Survivor, Celebrity Apprentice, etc). Then the winner of the show gets their OWN show on Oprah's new OWN Network launching in January 2011.

If you know me at all, you know that I have a lot of passion for life and that I love being in front of the camera - I'm right at home there. This is the first time in my life I've really gone after something like this with so much gusto. I am asking you to please do everything you can to help me make this dream come true. Thank you so much for your support. I hope you like the video. Please leave comments with your feedback on it ON the Oprah site.

Thank you thank you thank you to all of you for taking the time to read this and vote for me!

~Megan
Oprah's Next TV STAR!!!

How To Deal With Loss - Grieve Like an 11-Year Old

2009-07-30T18:36:00.001-07:00

I just did a random guided meditation teleconference I found on Twitter with @DrJennifer and very much enjoyed. @DrJennifer seems very genuine and sweet. At the end you could ask questions so I asked "How can I overcome this shadow of loss and grief following me after 5 deaths in 5 months?" She was so sweet and just gave me this big dose of empathy like, "Holy cow, 5 deaths in 5 months?!" She just said give yourself time to grieve, to cry, to write, whatever you need. That is a lot to process and it will take time.

The fact of it is, I feel like I just can't shake this rain cloud following me around wherever I go. It is blocking my sunshine right now. Everytime I step out from under it for a minute, it catches right back up with me or it starts raining again, usually pouring down Texas-sized rain drops of more grief and more death. I have not had time to process one death before another happened, and another and another. Then add in the other drama in my life, feeling unbelievably tired and sick all the time being pregnant again and I am just drowning here in the rain coming down on me!

I guess after Mike's death on Tuesday, I felt like everyone must be so sick of me being down this year. Everyone must be looking at me thinking "What is her problem?" But I think those are just my own issues - me standing in my own way of dealing with these deaths. It has been an unbelievable year and I have cried all I can cry, I have lost all I can lose just about - so many people, dreams dear to me. I'm sick of losing.

I think I have to give myself permission to be a mess for a bit instead of feeling I have to put on a brave face and just move on. I've hardly grieved Mike. I woke up the next morning (yesterday) and just pretended nothing had happened. Then its starting to catch up with me today. Its just too much. This year has been pure HELL! How do you keep picking yourself up and dusting yourself off, just to be knocked down again? I can't even enjoy being pregnant because all I've known this year is loss. Loss has defined my experience of life for 5 months now. I just think to myself, "What will it be next month?" Or next week...or tomorrow? I've managed to pick myself up again and again after every single one - the 3 worst of course being my Aunt, the miscarriage and now Mike. But now they are starting to pile up on me. Mike's death brought up so many reminders of Debbie's death. I relived Debbie's death through Mike's. Mike's seems the most cruel and unusual and hard to process. So sudden, so unfair. Hate the thought that I will never see him again.

I like to consider myself a pretty "enlightened" individual, always willing to dive in head first into every challenge and obstacle, constantly evaluating and reevaulating myself to grow more and more each day. I like to think I've come to terms with the inevitable life lesson that DEATH is unfortunately a part of LIFE. But no matter what my beliefs that Mike is no longer suffering, that him and Debbie are both happier, that the baby that was starting to grow in me and bring me so much joy amidst so much tragedy was somehow not meant to be....it still sucks. It still rips me to my core. It still causes me to feel depressed when I should be happily celebrating the fact that I'm pregnant again. I have so much to be grateful for but how do you focus on what you have when you've been tested on everything you can no longer have repeatedly? How do you find the silver lining on the cloud when its raining down on you so hard, you can't even see 2 steps ahead of you?

Sometimes I don't have all the answers. I just take it one day at a time and cry when I feel like crying, sob when I feel like sobbing, have pity parties for 1 when I feel like suffering, meditate when I feel I am losing hold of some sense of joy and peace in my life. What more can you do? I cannot flip a switch and un-do all that's happened in the last 5 months. I cannot bring Mike or Debbie or that baby back. I cannot change the way it hurts deep inside to be so overtaken by grief this year. I cannot help that I feel sorry for myself that I've lost so much in such a short time.

I watched the classic movie "My Girl" this morning for the first time ever. Something told me a movie about a girl coming of age in a Funeral Parlor being forced to face death day in and day out was right up my alley right about now. I thought to myself, I want to just run as fast as I can and "runaway" for a night then come home and feel better because I got it out of my system. Maybe the way an 11 year old would handle grief is the way to do it? Screaming, throwing tantrums, crying, sobbing, staying in bed, expressing every last ounce of the confusion, anger, denial, grief, and shock you have in you loudly and openly because that's just what you do when you're 11. When you're 11, everyone excuses such behaviour because an 11 year old "doesn't have control of their emotions" just yet. Well, what the heck does having control of your emotions do for us adults? Of course, in certain situations this sort of self-control is admirable. But in deep, gut-wrenching, rip your heart out and serve it up for dinner sort of grief, what purpose does it serve to stuff all those feelings down inside in a nice little box where you can "control" them? What good does putting on that brave face really do for you or anyone else? It only sickens this sick cycle further. You know what those emotions do in that neat little box you put them in after you wrap them up tight and bury them in the backyard? They don't just go away. They're always there, haunting you. And then they come out when you least expect them like for me right now, when I should be experiencing nothing but supreme and utter joy at the marvel and wonder of my growing belly and thus growing family...instead that little box of emotions is shaking things up. Its oozing out the cracks into the rest of my being, overshadowing every aspect of my life.

So how do I deal with these nasty little buggers?

Open the box.

Let them out.

Face them.

That might mean throwing tantrums, having sobbing fits or even "running away" like an 11 year old. Sometimes that is the only way to fully express the extent of grief and sorrow, anger and confusion we feel in our souls.

I also find that writing about them and meditating on them helps.

Like I said, I don't have all the answers but I will tell you the one thing I know for sure, and I consider myself a bit of a Loss-Expert now after the last few months...I know for certain that ignoring these emotions, however scary and crazy and OUT OF CONTROL they might seem, no matter how much they threaten your own sense of control in uncontrollable situations, does not work. They will literally come back to bite you in the ass. I have the bruises to prove it.

So, in closing, I think I might just throw my own inner temper tantrum. I think I might shake my fist at the sky a few times and express my anger at the Universe for taking my loved ones back to Heaven. Step 1 on this journey is simply this...giving myself permission to grieve. To feel whatever it is I feel at any given moment. Giving myself empathy for all I've lost, all I've loved, all I've lived, and all I've living right now. Granting myself the undeniable right to take time to process the sorrow and pain. Wounds like these do not heal overnight, that's for sure. As the old cliche goes, only time can heal. I'll add to that, only time and willingness to grieve can heal.

You can't go around it, you just have to go through it.

P.S. Oh yeah, did I mention I'm pregnant again?! I've been terrified to say it outloud, much less broadcast it to the world on my Blog and Twitter. I'm taking a leap of faith. I'm about 8.5 weeks. We had our first ultrasound about 2 weeks ago and saw our little bean with a beautiful strong heart beating away. Its a bit of sunshine in these cloudy days. I'm do my best to embrace it fearlessly and failing terribly at it so far. Hoping to share pregnancy joys and woes here soon as well now that I've officially outed myself. =)

Journal Entry ~ 6/7/09 "Gratitude"

2009-07-22T08:57:00.000-07:00

Church was wonderful and perfect. The minister kept saying things in the meditation, prayer and sermon about "we are always pregnant with possibility" and I really took that to heart as my promise right now. I am still pregnant with possibility. I went in to that service feeling like such a victim. I left feeling reconnected with my spirit knowing that I have the strength to get through this. Through the course of the service I remembered something that has resonated so deeply in my spirit since I heard it. Its from Eckhart Tolle and it goes something like this, "Freedom from suffering is accepting this moment exactly as it is." I know that is a lot easier said than done. But I really do feel I am getting to a place of acceptance and peace. I know that there is "peace that passeth all understanding" available to me whenever I need or ask for it and by turning within I have really found so much healing peace in God right there in my heart. I'm not speaking religiously here either. Just spiritually. I am trying to find the gifts in this experience and I must say I feel quite blessed by what I have found.

~ I have NEVER felt closer to my husband. He has been amazing through this. Today we went to our dear friends (who TRULY supported us more than any others this week) house for their daughter's 1st bday party and my husband came and found me 1400 times throughout the course of the day. He would just come and kiss me and hold me for a few minutes - no words were necessary but it went without saying that he knew it was hard for me, he knew I was still struggling and he loved me and supported me. He let me go to bed when we got home (at like 7) and when he really wanted to go back to the party instead he stayed here and fed Kayta dinner and played with her all night. And I don't mean just played, I mean PLAYED. They woke me up happily 1000 times - Kayta was just giggling and gleeing all night long. It really warmed my heart.

~ I am unbelievably thankful in retrospect for what at the time was a seemingly easy pregnancy and (despite 53 hours of labor) birth that resulted in my beautiful healthy daughter coming into this world.

~ I am thankful it happened early and I didn't ever have to make a decision like some of those on here have had to make to terminate a child who would not have survived outside the womb. I'm also glad I never saw a heartbeat or knew the sex. I am also thankful my body did what it needed to do without any intervention medically.

I believe that before we enter into each lifetime, we make agreements with our soul and other souls. I think that this spirit that came in for such a short time had made an agreement with me to do a really hard thing by coming and going so quickly before we could even begin to get to know it. But in such a short time, I think it accomplished its purpose. I feel it smiling down on me seeing the amazing bond Kory and I feel now, seeing how cemented we are now in our relationship and our desires for another child to complete our happy family. However, I am also grateful that I know right now in my heart that our family is absolutely perfect just as it is. And it will be perfect if we have another child come as well.

~ I am thankful and grateful for amazing family and friends and for my own willingness to be open to the love around me from friends and strangers. Sharing at church today with total strangers who are of like-minded faith, I found great comfort and support. I felt again like by sharing my heart, other souls were touched and moved and perhaps inspired. The woman who prayed with me is about to move to CA and leave her 10 year old son behind with his Dad. She is going through her own unique process of mourning and loss and when I shared with her the peace I was finding in this, she cried. When we prayed together she cried and I knew it had spoken to her as well.

~I am thankful that I am young and strong and healthy and will easily be able to get pregnant again (that is my strong belief I am standing on!) and have another healthy baby.

~ I am so thankful for my daughter. My heart breaks for those who experience loss before they ever have a child. I think its equally but uniquely hard on both sides of the coin because once you've had a child, when you have a loss you know exactly what you are missing out on. Its like your life flashing before your eyes - these undone, never to be seen "memories" of what it would've been like to bring that child home, to welcome it into the world, etc. But I believe never having had a child it is equally hard in its own way, if not harder because you don't know what you're missing out on but you can certainly imagine. And it may feel hopeless that you'll never experience the love of a child in your life.

~I know this next baby/babies will mean more to everyone now. Myself, my husband and all of our family will find them even more special and we will all feel a deep sense of gratitude for the miracle of life.

The lady who was doing the Children's Ministry at church today asked me if Kayta had said anything about the baby. She could tell that Kayta is quite intuitive and you all know I believe that after the things she's said with my Aunt's passing. So tonight when I was putting her to bed I asked her "Do you think Mommy will have another baby in her tummy soon?" She nodded her head immediately with vigor. Then she said sadly (and we have not told her ANYTHING about the loss btw because we figured she was too young to process it and frankly the thought was too much for me), "There's not a baby in Mommy's tummy anymore." I asked her again if she thought I would have another one soon and she responded, "A blue baby! A big blue baby!" (Her fav color is blue, can you tell?) Then out of the blue she said in that quiet voice that seems to come from deep within her beautiful little soul, "And Mommy will have TWO babies." She went on for a minute about that and part of my heart lept out of my skin. That would be a dream come true. I left the room thinking, "Wow, what if...what if...the loss of one dream could lead to an even greater dream come true." Ah, that has been my lesson this year. When one door closes, a window opens.

Journal Entry ~ 6/5/09 titled "3 days after the fall..."

2009-07-22T08:22:00.000-07:00

This Willow Tree Angel by Susan Lordi was given to me by a dear friend just days after my miscarriage. It was the most beautiful commemoration of my baby's spirit anyone could have handed me and I am grateful for something to put on my altar and remember my baby by. But I also remember how I found strength and beauty and peace in each day even in my darkest hour and I thank God for the gift of knowing that even when the sun is gone I can find light.

The card that sits in front of it reads

"May you find strength, beauty and peace in each day."

Journal Entry 6-5-09

My baby is gone. I am not pregnant anymore. But I was pregnant and there was a child beginning to fom within my womb. I saw it. It was tiny and somehow lifeless but it was there and it turned my world upside down for a few short weeks in a very wonderful and welcomed way. I do believe though that I was divided within myself going into this. Somehow on some level I didn't want to accept I knew something wasn't quite right. A pregnant woman just walked by - how is that seems so cruel now? I'm part of a new club - the "not pregnant - had a miscarriage" club. Lovely.

I'm trying my best to get through this right now but it is very hard. Thankfully I know in my heart that I will have another baby soon with another healthy pregnancy preceding it. Rightnow, everything is perfect, there is nothing wrong. I know that I chose this on a soul level and I am grateful for the gifts of compassion, understanding, depth and faith, knowing and courage this has given me. It has made me very grateful for what I do have - a beautiful, healthy daughter; a wonderful husband and together we already make a perfect family.

I had a wonderful meditation this morning in which I dove deeply into every last part of this and let my spirit guide me thorugh to some healing. Here's what I know in my heart...(and what I do not and may never know.

~Without bloodwork or ultrasound to confirm yet, I know in my heart that this was a miscarriage.

~I know that I am not pregnant anymore as hard as that is to admit to myself. I do not know why. I will not ever know for certain why I was not meant to carry this pregnancy to term and honestly I don't think I need or even want to know. I just that its over for now. But that doesn't mean that this little "Spirit Baby" won't/can't come back to me soon.

Chapter Excerpt from Part IV of BabyCatcher: Chronicles of a Modern MidwifeSpirit

BabyColin, my twelve-year-old son, discovered me late one rainy afternoon sitting at the kitchen table, a damp Kleenex crumpled in my left hand, wiping my eyes as I tried to compose myself for his sake. It was the third week of January, two months after I’d miscarried a pregnancy, but I still found it impossible to get through a day without at least one meltdown into misery.Stunned when the test came back positive, Rog and I had stared at each other with doubt and ambivalence. At forty-one, my professional life consumed me. I’d just achieved what some had predicted was an impossibility: I’d been granted delivery privileges at Alta Bates, and as a consequence, my midwifery practice burgeoned. Some months I delivered twelve babies, and no one ever knew if or when I’d be home. Rog, too, felt stretched to his limits, keeping his business afloat while picking up the slack for my frequent unscheduled absences. Colin and Jill approached their challenging adolescent years. How could we fit an infant into our lives? But when I lost the pregnancy and all hope for resolution dissolved with my tears, I fell in love with the baby that was not to be.

Colin asked, "Are you crying about the baby?" and when I nodded tearfully, he said, "Well, you just have to have another one, Mom, because it’s a Spirit Baby, and you should be its mother."

I must have looked puzzled because he said, "Don’t you know about Spirit Babies? How could I know about them if you don’t? I mean, you’re my mom!" But he could see my perplexity. So my first child, this not-yet-teenaged boy, pulled a wooden chair to my side and draped his thin arm across my shoulders, saying, "Well, Mom, here’s how it is. See, I was one myself, so that must be how I know. Anyway, every woman has a circle of babies that goes around and around above her head, and those are all the possible babies she could have in her whole life. Every month, one of those babies is first in line. If she gets pregnant, then that’s the baby that’s born. If she doesn’t get pregnant, the baby goes back into the circle and keeps going around with all the others. If she gets pregnant but something bad happens before the baby’s born…now listen, Mom, because here’s the really cool part. It goes back into the circle, but it becomes a Spirit Baby, and all the other babies give it cuts. Each month, it’s always first in line. Isn’t that great?"So you just have to get pregnant again, and you’ll have the same Spirit Baby. If you don’t, though, then the baby circle will just beam that little Spirit Baby over to some other woman’s circle, and it’ll be first in line for her. It keeps being first in line somewhere until it finally gets born."But it’d be a shame for you not to have it yourself, because I know how much you want it. So you just have to try again. Mom, remember that baby you lost before I was born?" I nodded wordlessly. "Well, that was me. Really. I’ve always known I was a Spirit Baby. I mean, I know what I’m talking about here, Mom."

In spite of Colin’s certainty that our household, so often bordering on chaos, lacked only an infant to make things perfect, Rog and I demurred. But Colin didn’t give up and even enlisted his sister’s support. Driving with them in the car one evening, I looked at my son in the passenger seat beside me. He stared out the side window and tried to hide his tears, but I saw the flush on his face, the shaking of his shoulders, and the surreptitious swipe of hand across cheek. Six months had passed since my miscarriage, and I had just finished yet another discussion in which I’d told my pleading son that having a third baby at my age was out of the question. I reached over the space between us and squeezed his fingers. "Colin, I don’t understand this passion you have for a baby. Why do you want one so much?" He tore his gaze from the distant hills and looked at me with swimming eyes and trembling lips. In a choking voice, he put all of his twelve-year-old passion into his reply."Oh, Mom! Oh. Just for the joy of it!" Jill stretched forward from the back seat and placed a hand on each of our shoulders. "Yeah, Mom, just for the joy of it." It was my turn to look out the side window and struggle with misty vision.

So, at a time when most women eye the empty nest at the end of their branch on the family tree with something approaching relief, I gave consideration to laying just one more egg. Several months of discussions peppered with doubt and disbelief followed. Although Rog and I made the final decision, there’s no denying that a big part of our decision to have a third child began with the insistence of our adolescent children that we "needed a baby in the house." Rog and I took a deep breath, looked at each other across the blond heads of those two wishful children, swallowed – and made a giant leap of faith.

I conceived my Spirit Baby a week later. Just for the joy of it.

In the same spirit of this Spirit Babies story, I know that I will eventually have the baby I am meant to have at the exact time I am meant to have it.

Missing...Miscarriage...and Mentoring

2009-06-29T08:55:00.000-07:00

So...where do I even begin?

This is a short blog post to let you know why I've been MIA for awhile. I've been missing. Missing in action. Missing people. Missing life.

I suffered a miscarriage at the beginning of this month. I have been in a deep dark hole of grief and despair. It was a very traumatizing experience that rocked my world completely. We'd told everyone in these fun creative ways and were so excited to be expecting again and then bam, just as quickly as it arrived it was gone.

It has taken some time but I am finding healing and peace now. It really is a daily process trying to come back to that place of peace within myself. I have so much to share from this experience but have needed to get through it's most raw and naked parts before I could try to share. I hope in the coming weeks, I will be able to put into words some of the incredible blessings that have come in the midst of this - gifts of hope, faith, love, peace, joy and abudance which are all available to us before we even ask. I am encouraged that even in my darkest hour, I could go within and find peace. Some days, I didn't want to get out of bed and that was ok. I told myself and everyone that asked, "You can't go around it - you just have to go through it." Giving myself permission to really grieve my loss this time was very healing. I felt I didn't give myself enough of that when my Aunt died just a couple months ago so I made sure to take the time this time around.

Like I said, I have so much to share so as I find the inspiration, I will try to open up here as much as possible. I believe that part of the reason this happened is so that I can try to help other women who've been through a similar experience or are going through one currently. As my midwife said in the midst of this, "This is just what women do for each other." My hope is to encourage women to speak out about their own ordeals to find healing and peace and give healing and peace to those who are going through it. Miscarriages are common but carry no common emotions with them. Instead they bring deep pain and trauma. The women in my life who supported me through this were like rocks of Gibraltar. Being reassured along the way that how I've been feeling is totally normal, having an outlet to speak about my pain - all this has been so incredibly healing.

If you are suffering a miscarriage right now, I strongly encourage you to reach out to the women around you. More often than not, you will be surprised to find that many of them have experienced this as well. Knowing you are not alone will help you through the worst parts of it.

Thank you for your support, thoughts and prayers. I look forward to sharing more of my journey through this in the coming weeks and months.

If you have experienced a miscarriage or are going through one now, please feel free to leave a comment about your experience or email me at joyful_exercise@hotmail.com . That's what women do for each other. :)

Baking & Raising an Organic Family (Continued) - Dryer Sheets May Be Hazardous to Your Health

2009-05-11T17:00:00.001-07:00

I used to watch the show "Get Fresh with Sarah Snow" on Discovery Health quite a bit and I can't tell you how much that woman taught me! She was the first to tell me about dryer sheets. Little did I know how bad they were for my body! Dryer sheets are doused in toxic perfumes that come in direct contact with your skin all day long on those pretty little clothes of yours (and your kid's). They ooze toxicity into your bloodstream and desensitize your noggin to the aromas of life unfolding around you. Most importantly, those toxins that slowly trickle into your bloodstream contain known carcinogens - as in, cancer-causing agents. Do a Google Search for "Dryer Sheet Toxins" and you'll find countless websites listing the ingredients used in dryer sheets and how they can negatively impact your health.

When people use dryer sheets, they are coating their clothes with a thin film of artificial chemical perfumes. Just like other perfumes, a person’s sensitivity to these perfumes decreases over time to the point where they don’t even notice how potent these artificial fragrance chemicals are. None of this would be interesting if it weren’t for the fact that these fragrance chemical are extremely toxic chemicals. They are known carcinogens. They cause liver damage and cancer in mammals.

Nearly every chemical that touches the skin finds its way into the body and into the bloodstream. As a result, wearing toxic fragrance chemicals is actually quite similar to eating them. These toxic chemicals would never, of course, be approved as safe food ingredients due to their toxicity. Many are registered as EPA toxins. ~NaturalNews.com

GrinningPlanet.com has one of the most valuable articles on this topic with an excellent debunking of many common consumer myths like "Well if isn't safe, why is it still on the market?" To start, they list several of the ingredients in dryer sheets that make them so potentially hazardous to your health.

Your fabric softener or dryer sheets likely include some of the following not-so-snuggly ingredients: alpha-terpineol, benzyl acetate, camphor, benzyl alcohol, limonene, ethyl acetate, pentane, and chloroform. According to the manufacturers' Material Safety Data Sheets, these chemicals have the potential to do things to you such as:

Cause central nervous system disorders, headaches, and loss of muscle coordination;
Irritate mucous membranes and impair respiratory function
Cause nausea, vomiting, dizziness, or drowsiness;
Cause liver or kidney damage;
Cause skin disorders and allergic reactions;
Cause cancer.

One of these chemicals even contains the warning, "Do not flush into sewer system," and another appears on the Environmental Protection Agency's hazardous waste list.
People are exposed to the chemicals by breathing the aromatic molecules in the air near the clothes or by absorbing them through the skin via direct contact with the clothes (which, by design, retain some of the fabric softener/dryer sheet molecules). ~ GrinningPlanet.com

When I decided to stop using conventional dryer sheets, I was more concerned about static cling than that "oh-so-fresh" scent. Head over to Grinning Planet if you want tips on how you can stop static cling naturally.

So is your jaw on the floor yet? The first time I discovered all of this information I felt sick to my stomach at the thought of how many thousands of dryer sheets we had used in our household. Thankfully, I found this information before my daughter was born so I knew not to use dryer sheets on her clothes (which you really shouldn't anyway since dryer sheets ruin the flame retardants on infant's pajamas). As for the rest of the family, in our small town we had a hard time finding a lot of great options. I probably should have shopped online to find exactly what I needed. It wasn't until I began researching this article that I found they do actually make safe dryer sheets now. SafeMama.com recommends Mrs. Meyers Dryer Sheets! I think I might order them online! For now, we've switched to Bounce Pure Essentials because they are biodegradable, free of perfumes and dyes, and use essential oils for scents in those that are scented. Plus, they are affordable!

SafeMama.com suggests another inexpensive alternative - try using a washcloth doused in essential oils to replace dryer sheets. What a great idea! Essential oils are known as sensory-exploding mood-enhancers with a long list of benefits for each one. So instead of dulling your senses, you'll enhance them.

I hope you've found some healthy options in this article to improve your family's quality of life. Now you know you can skip the dryer sheets altogether, buy some natural ones or throw an essential oil potpouri in there with your clothes! I always say that sometimes (especially in a recesssion!) you have to pick and choose the things that are most important to your family when you're going green. We can't all afford to buy only organic, green products all the time or else there wouldn't be any conventional products around anymore! However, in this case, it really shouldn't cost you any extra money to switch to the au naturale approach and it'll protect your children and the environment so..will you consider making the switch?

Please leave a comment telling me your thoughts on the use of dryer sheets in your home!

See you on the next installment of my Healthy Living Series!

Baking & Raising an Organic Family - Part 1

2009-05-10T15:49:00.000-07:00

So I'm taking a short break from the inspirational/motivational/meditational/spiritual Mommy side of myself to talk to you today about some of the ways I have chosen to raise my daughter organically and naturally, and why.

There are a million reasons to choose organic, natural healthy foods and products for yourself and your children. I couldn't even begin to list them all here! After decades of our world moving further and further into consumptionism and consumerism, our foods, drinks, make-up, skincare, haircare, and body care products have slowly become more and more toxic. Reading the label on anything from toothpaste to frozen chicken nuggets, you'll find most conventional foods and products are packed with a bunch of gunk that makes it easier to produce them in a faster amount of time for less money. In the end, you get a cheaper product filled with more toxins that you are going to put in and on your body, or your child's body.

The first step to understanding the organic revolution is knowledge. The more I've learned over the years, the more I've inched my way deeper and deeper into an organic lifestyle. I've raised my daughter from the time she was conceived with fresh, healthy organic foods, fruits and vegetables; natural body care products, and natural cleaning products in my home to create a toxin-free environment. Now I know I might be conjuring up an image in your head of Megan the uptight-toxin-phobic-obsessive-compulsive Mother but really, I'm just a Mom like any one else. I think all of us Moms have a natural instinct to provide the the best we can for our children - I'm just another Mom who's constantly looking for ways to do just that. I'm a young Mom (well, I'm 28 so I'm not THAT young anymore!) and a frugal Mom so in this recession I have definitely had to work harder to find healthy foods and products at prices my family can afford. From time to time, I'd love to share the deals, steals, and new products I find when I find what I love and love what I find!

I'd like to begin my "Baking & Raising an Organic Family" series with some of the first ways I found to give my baby the best possible, before she was even born and immediately after she arrived. From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I was overcome with a strong desire to provide the very best for that babe in my belly. I did tons of research and found some incredible tools to help me along the way. Here are a few of the tools I used to bring my daughter into this world as a 100% organic baby.

I will also preface this by saying I am not getting paid to write this article - these are really just the products I use myself and since I believe in them, I'm happy to promote them.

A Step Beyond Dreft - Natural Laundry Detergent

I remember when I was about 8 months pregnant and I looked forward to doing laundry for the first time in my life. I had baby clothes to wash and fold! It was as close as I could get to holding and snuggling my newborn child. I was on the phone with a friend telling her that I was going to start washing the baby clothes and she loudly proclaimed, "You know about Dreft, right?!" As a new mother-to-be there were so many things I didn't know about yet so I was glad when she explained to me that many conventional laundry detergents can irritate your baby's skin. After we hung the phone, I did some research on my own and came to my own conclusions. Dreft was a bit expensive for me and although it had its benefits, I realized it wasn't taking it quite far enough for me.

As parents in Generation X bringing up Generations Y and Z (who knows what they'll be named!), we have as much of a responsibility to the Earth as we do to our children. I want my child to have a healthy planet to grow up on with clean, fresh air for her and her children and grandchildren. So I choose products that are good for us and good for the Earth.

I personally use Safeway's Bright Green 2X HE Laundry Detergent in the Natural Lavender Scent. Because its Safeway's own brand, they often have these products on Sale, in fact nearly every time I visit the store they're on sale. The laundry detergent is much cheaper than other comparable products on the market and has a long list of benefits for you and your family. I'm a chronic label reader so I'll share with you what the label taught me.

Bright Green Laundry Detergent is:

Biodegradable
Free of dyes
Phosphate free
Safe for septic systems
Not tested on animals

It contains naturally derived cleaning agents like palm and/or coconut based surfactants, naturally derived enzymes, and natural fragrance. It doesn't irritate my skin or my child's and it gets even our dirtiest puke/poop/spit-up stained clothes clean!

Now you might be asking why do I need natural laundry detergent? Here's why!

Traditional detergent companies have started switching to concentrated formulas, thereby cutting down on packaging. Unfortunately, they did not cut down on chemicals that can damage the immune system, disrupt hormones, irritate skin, cause cancer and even effect drinking water and aquatic life. There’s a laundry list of environmental impacts from detergents. Various chemicals can kill fish, hinder the growth of plants and emit toxic fumes. Most laundry detergents are also made from petroleum, tapping a rapidly depleting resource.

If you’re worried about whether natural detergents will get the grass and mud stains out of your best outfits, relax; Consumer Reports found that detergents with environmentally-friendly surfactants worked better than many of those with toxic chemical surfactants.
~ Greenzer.com

So now you have NO reason not to switch to natural laundry detergent. Its better for you, for your kids, for the environment and best of all, I actually found one that's affordable! If you don't have a Safeway near you, Seventh Generation and Ecover also offer excellent natural laundry detergent at mostly-affordable prices.

Next up, why I don't use Dryer Sheets on my daughter's clothes (warning: toxins, toxins, toxins!!!!).

AZTV AM Arizona Guest Appearance Tuesday 4/28 at 10 am

2009-04-25T09:43:00.000-07:00

If you're in the state of Arizona, tune in to AZTV's AM Arizona LIVE on Channel 7 (or 13 in Phoenix area) on Tuesday, April 28th at 10 am. I'm one of the guest's on the show and I'll be talking about Sedona.tv and Red Rock TV Channel 16 in Sedona as well as Parenting Alive!

It feels like a nice "coming full circle" moment because one of the hosts who will be interviewing me is Lew Rees and I went to high school with his daughter in Prescott Valley. Now I'm heading back to ole' P-town to be interviewed by him and his co-host Tanya Mock. I'm really hoping it will give Parenting Alive some exposure and publicity to get more parents here to share and grow with me. I'll be sure to post it on YouTube afterwards just in case you miss it. But please try to tune in live and tell your friends to tune in too! I'll be doing a giveaway live on the show and I'll also be announcing a HUGE giveaway on the Sedona.tv Blog where you can win a 1-night stay at the Canyon Villa Bed & Breakfast with the "million dollar views." There's a number of prizes you can win like Gift Cards to Picazzo's, fudge and cookies from the Sedona Fudge Company and toys from the Sedona Kid Company so tune in or log on to Sedona.tv for details! The contest begins on Tuesday.

Thanks for your continued support of Parenting Alive and my endeavor to help parents find ways to grow themselves and their children through intuition, love, compassionate communication and faith in themselves! Help me spread the word about Parenting Alive by tweeting this post and forwarding to anyone in your life who you think might enjoy it and grow with us.

Blue Cotton Candy Ice Cream with Sprinkles

2009-04-21T21:53:00.000-07:00

Blue cotton candy ice cream kisses are the best. The memories that come with moments like these are absolutely indescribable. My cup runneth over. I am filled with a humbling sense of deep gratitude and pure, radical joy. Ah, what a little cup of blue cotton candy ice cream with rainbow sprinkles can do for the soul.

I am the kind of Mom who doesn't give my kid anything sugary or sweet. I have fed her entirely organic since she was conceived - in the womb and out. I growl and snarl at my husband when he treats her to lollipops on their trips to the drive thru at the bank. I didn't give her fruit juice 'til she was well over a year old. I made her an organic cake with organic frosting for her first birthday smash cake. I read every label on every food product I buy for her. I cringe when I am forced to feed her non-organic food at a restaurant. I guess I just know way too much about all the harmful pesticides, cancer-causing chemicals, carcinogens, and poylpetidemononuecloglycerides in our food these days.

But tonight, I took my daughter at 8:30 p.m. just before her 9 p.m. bedtime to have ice cream at Coldstone Creamery. I've never done that before. I never thought I would do that. I mean, its full of sugar and its not organic! It would surely keep my kid up for 23 days! It was a crazy idea that no "good" Mother would ever have really, right?!

Wrong.

It made a memory.

It made me smile.

It makes me want to cry right now just thinking about how blessed I am.

Every once in awhile, I think its ok to fall off the healthy living wagon and create a life-long memory with my kid. After all, those were the kind of memories I treasured most as a kid myself. Now I got the chance to see it from the other side of the memory-making. And now I think that spontaneous trips to the ice cream shop at 9 pm are even better as an adult than as a kid. My daughter just about jumped out of her skin with excitement and shock when instead of getting into the car to go home, I turned to her and said, "Want to go get ice cream?" She then insisted on carrying my very heavy purse (that's almost bigger than she is) almost the entire way to the ice cream shop "all by myself!"

We walked in and I did something I never ever in my life thought I would do...I asked my daughter what color/flavor of ice cream she would like. (I'm chuckling as I write this because yes, I do understand exactly how silly an accomplishment that sounds!) I knew which color she would pick - her favorite, blue, which was Cotton Candy ice cream. Then I took a deep breath and against all my Healthy Mom instincts I said, "Would you like some sprinkles with that?!" I figured if we're going to have ice cream, let's have ice cream the right way with some rainbow sprinkles on top! She was ecstatic. The look on her face was just pure joy. Pure pure joy. She watched as the clerk mashed and mixed it together, eyes wide open in wonder and then said, "Mommy, he needs to put it in a bowl!" (I'm chuckling again) This young high school kid just couldn't stop laughing at my daughter. He handed her the ice cream and immediately, my far-too-overly-opinionated-for-a-2-year-old daughter says, "Mommy, I need to sit!" So we paid for the ice cream and went to find a seat. She insisted on sitting on her knees so she could reach her ice cream.

It literally took everything in me to go against my natural control-freak nature and sit there and watch while she shoveled large spoonfuls of blue ice cream into her mouth. I considered cutting her off half way through the kiddie sized cup of ice cream to ease my conscience but once again told myself - if you're gonna do it, go all out! I cringed again as the blue ice cream dribbled and dripped on her nice pink sweater. I usually cover her from head to toe in bibs. Oh well. It'll come out in the wash. Finally, I completely relinquished control when she finished her ice cream, grabbed mine and said, "I don't like my ice cream. I'm going to eat Mommy's!" Aw, what the heck!

Sitting across that little table, I pulled out my camera phone to take a picture. I thought to myself, "I want to remember this moment forever." I had hesitated at the thought of spontaneously combusting with such spontaneous spontaneity but instead I FOLLOWED MY INSTINCTS - that little voice in my heart that said, "Just do it" and it was right. Now, thanks to that little voice I am sitting her pouring out all the love in my heart onto this blog, overflowing with the most amazing sense of gratitude, peace, joy, hope, rejuvenation and overwhelming emotion. I can hardly describe how I feel other than to say...blue cotton candy kisses are the best.

I spent the first year plus of my daughter's life as the most uptight you-know-what on the planet. I don't know how my family survived me. My poor husband! Those first few weeks home from the hospital I was a like a ferocious guard dog standing at the door warding off all evil family and friends who might have....duhn duhn duhn duhnnnnnnnnn...germs! I made everyone wash their hands and use hand sanitizer before holding my baby. I could smell a cigarette or remains of an already-smoked cigarette 14 miles away. My dogs feared me for the first time in their canine lives, approaching the "throne" of Mom with their tails down and ears back. In fact, now that I think about it, my husband kind of did the same! POOR husband!!!

It wasn't until I realized that first of all, you CAN'T control everything and second of all, you shouldn't control everything because the best things happen spontaneously, that I loosened my death grip on Motherhood and took a horse sized chill pill. Since then, I actually feel a bit guilty for being a little too loose. The concessions I have made no control freak Mother would ever be able to live with!

But I'm happy. And my daughter's happy. And we have some really awesome spontaneous moments. In fact, those moments that are UNPLANNED are ALWAYS...ALWAYS....ALWAYS the best! Too bad I wasted the best first year of her life trying to control the most uncontrollable experience of my life!

Sometimes the healthiest thing for baby and Mommy is just a big ole' scoop of life in whatever form it takes (organic or not!). Lesson learned on baby numero uno - let's hope sweet baby number 2 (whenever he or she decides to take up shop in my womb - soon, please!) will benefit from these lessons learned the first time around. As for all y'all new Mommas or new Mommas to be out there, take a lesson from me...don't try to control the uncontrollable! All you'll create for yourself is stress, anxiety and needless fretting! Trust the voice within and it will always guide you in the right direction. No "What to Expect" or "What Not to Expect" or "What to Not Expect When You're Expecting" book can tell you what you know in your heart (not your head!) is best for your child.

And most of all, be willing to throw all cares to the wind and be spontaneous every once in awhile. I always say, "I do really really good 90% of the time so that 10% of the time we can just live a little."

What could you do today to create a rock-your-world cup runneth over sorta moment with your kid or kids? Blue cotton candy ice cream with rainbow sprinkles anyone? Dang, Coldstone Creamery should be paying me for this article! This is just one sprinkle away from an all out subliminal message or shameless promotion. I promise I don't work for Coldstone but they do have really good ice cream.

Take a trip to your local joy-in-a-cup ice cream shop with your kid today. Then come back and tell me who's face lit up more when you got to pick your flavors - yours or theirs?!

Joyful Deliverance

2009-04-20T15:48:00.000-07:00

Can you believe I'm smiling right now? This week has rocked my world in every way imaginable. I've experienced loss and grief throughout my life when I lost grandparents, when my nephew died just before his third birthday, when my Aunt's husband passed away 11 years ago. But this was definitely an experience unique from any other experience of death that I've had in my life. Watching someone you love die is, well, its just really really horrible in a way I could never describe. Yet, I'm smiling. I took this picture TODAY. I wanted to show you all that I was smiling. I'm smiling all because of one cheesy-grinned little girl who won't let me wallow in my sadness. A little girl who begs me to sing our special little made-up song "Sweet, wonderful girl" to her while I give her piggy-back rides around the house. A little girl who melted away all my sadness when I came home from saying goodbye to my Aunt Debbie forever. I walked in the door and she greeted me as if I'd been gone for months. I came home from Death to be greeted with the overabundant, exuberant joy of Life in my sweet daughter. The next day, I came home from work and at she blew my mind when (remember, she is not even 2 yet!) she took one look at me and said, "Mommy, you not feeling good?" And today, when I just wanted to stay in bed and cry after the horrible, horrible week I've had, my daughter opened the door to my room and came running at me, embracing me with her entire little body saying, "I lub you Mommy. I lub you so so much." I don't know what I did to deserve her but I thank God every day for her.

You know what your child is? A deep, flowing river of life and joy that you can dip your proverbial bucket into for refreshment just about any time. Whenever you have a bad day at work or you find yourself caught up in the drama of life, just get down on the floor and play with your kids or connect with them in some way. For all the times they've frustrated us because we couldn't figure out what they wanted or needed, for all the times they've woken us up or kept us up at night, for all the years of crazyness we have ahead as parents, our children can and DO have the possibility to bring us the greatest joy we've ever known at the times we most need it. I mean, really, how could you NOT smile at a face like this?

When my nephew died, my niece was a year old. In the special family bereavement room, she played joyfully and beautifully, distracting us from the loss we were suffering in the other room.

My cousin Kerri feels the same way about her adopted step-children and the baby she is baking in her belly. Kerri just lost her Mom and is now an orphan at the young age of 27. She will give birth to her first child without her Mom there to hold her hand while she pushes and screams or to see the look on her face when she holds her for the first time or to show her how to change a diaper. Her daughter will never meet either of Kerri's parents. But Kerri has a little girl in her womb who is depending on her for survival. She has 2 children ages 7 and 9 that have only ever known her as their Mother since she met their Dad when they were babies. Although they grieve too, they have given Kerri and her husband a sense of normalcy that forced them to carry on despite their devastating loss.

Throughout the last 6 or so months since this recession started to sucker punch us all in the face again and again and again, I have often found myself wallowing in the pit of despair. I have wondered how we would make it through everything being thrown at us all at once. I've felt like the baseball bat on the receiving end of an electric ball-spitter-outer shooting balls at me at 90 mph relentlessly. First we started losing our play money, then we lost our savings and investments. Now we're losing our house, considering filing bankruptcy and borrowing money from family just to pay the bills. My husband and I both suffered 40% paycuts at our longtime jobs as the visitors that usually come to Sedona and support our tourism-industry-dependent jobs started staying home more saving their money. Then about a month and a half ago, we found out that my Aunt's lung cancer had returned and metastisized throughout her entire body and also to her brain. On my way to the hospital to visit her one day I said to my husband, "Well at least I still have my health." Within a week I was at the doctor's office struggling to breathe through bronchitis and anxiety attacks.

Then things started to look up again - my Aunt was doing better, we were starting to make money again, and we had some good things happening despite all the bad things coming at us. I was feeling hopeful yet cautious. I knew I could not attach or invest even an ounce of my happiness in these external objects. That's what got me here in the first place, after all! If you think you have to have money, a job, a house, a car, good health, a great family or spouse, awards and accollades to be happy, you are walking a dangerous tight rope. Those things can only bring you superficial happiness that can be snatched away from you at any moment. Why depend on them for happiness when they are really quite undependable? Haven't you learned that by now? These outward things, stuff, circumstances have FAILED you. As much happiness as you might have thought they have given you, they can bring an equal if not considerable amount more of grief, despair and loss.

This lovely recession - my new least-favorite 9-letter word - has done a number on us all. Its kicked the chair out from under us, stripping us down to our very core. It is a gift, although it is near-impossible to see it as such. When you are in the midst of it, sometimes all you can see and feel is the pain of being stripped of everything you owned, everything you knew, everything you thought defined who you are. But I promise you, you can find a light at the end of that dark dark dark tunnel if you just keep moving forward.

It has been a gift to us all because it has taught us to value the things in our lives that are everlasting. Your loved one might die, leave you, or get sick but no one can take away the love you feel for them. Your child might die, leave you, or get sick, but no one take away the joy they have given you. I have found in the last few months that I have been able to return to a deep sense of inner peace despite, through, and in the midst of terrible turmoil and circumstances in my life. I've also found strength I didn't know I had - to start new endeavors like this Blog, to hope for a "yes" instead of expecting a "no", to find new ways to save and make money to support my family, and most of all, to find peace and radiant joy in every day.

For me, this recession has been a beautiful, wonderful, deeply painful but miraculous gift. It forced me to look within instead of without for joy and happiness. It made me finally try all the things I've been wanting to try for decades. I used to tell myself that no one wanted what I had to offer. Now I tell myself, "Maybe they will!" I used to think I needed "stuff" to be happy but now I know I can find happiness and true joy in any situation, even the death of a loved one. The recession has made me a better person, a better wife, a better Mother, a better Salesperson, a better writer, and so much more.

Treasure your children, you never know which moment with them might be the last. Hold them and soak up all the joy they bring you. Let them melt your hurting heart with their smiles and laughter. And most importantly, show them by example how to find joy no matter when or where or what or how you are.

In Memory of my Aunt Debbie - Went to Heaven April 13th

2009-04-15T19:09:00.000-07:00

My Aunt Debbie passed away on Monday at the age of 51 after battling lung cancer bravely for 10 months. She leaves behind 2 daughters, one who is due to give birth to her first grandchild any day. Our family is deeply mourning our loss right now. I was with her when she passed and grateful for the time I spent with her before she passed. I took my daughter to see her in hospice and she gave her big kisses and hugs when we left.

I am also truly grateful for my joyful daughter cheering me up through this.

Unfortunately, my grief is getting more of my attention than my Blog right now. For that, I do apologize. But I'm sure you understand.

Please send your thoughts and prayers for my family. This was my Dad's younger sister.

See Her Soul

2009-04-05T18:02:00.000-07:00

I often find myself looking at my daughter in amazement. I am watching her grow, unfolding like the petals of a flower in time-lapse. Each day, I feel like I'm meeting her again for the first time as I see little sprouts of her soul shoot up from a place deep within her being, poking through the surface of life. As much as I think I "know" this little girl, I often look at her and catch my breath - catching a whiff, so to speak, of the beautiful little soul she is and will be. I am a witness to the unfolding. I will be one of the first to see if this little flower is blue or green, a lily or a rose, a flower or a field.

I look at her and wonder "Who is this little being?" She is not the crystalline light blue eyes I dreamt of long before I met her, she is not the smile that warms my heart every day and thankfully she is not the tantrums that come hand in hand with toddlerhood. Inside her delicate little body lies an even more delicate little being, a soul that has chosen this life, this experience, these parents, this body.

Many of her qualities, characteristics, personality traits and physical attributes are and will be influenced by outward factors like genetics and environment. She may grow up to be very talkative because her Father talks on his cell phone so much that he'll be the first in line for a surgical cell phone implant. She may like to sing because she is enveloped in the sounds of music everywhere she goes. But the pieces of her that unfold before us from the core of her being - those are the ones that I believe will be the most recognizable as Who She Really Is.

I'm sure you've experienced this yourself - as a parent, grandparent, Aunt, Uncle or caretaker of a child...they are those moments when a child does, says, or exudes something they have not been taught. You might find yourself stopping and looking at them, thinking to yourself, "Where did that come from?!" You sense deeply in that moment that you've witnessed something special and beautiful because it came from a place deep within your child where no amount of external factors can change who we really are.

My daughter loves to sing partly because we sing to her all the time and have done so since she was first born. But we never taught her to stand up on a chair and serenade an entire room full of guests before the age of 2. I handed her crayons and markers but never expected that she would want to color every day all day long or that painting in any way, shape or form would be an activity that would bring her the greatest joy possible. My Mom taught her the song from that old TV show Mr. Roger's Neighborhood - "It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day in the neighborhood..." But no one taught my daughter to look up at me one day while we were cuddling together in her rocking chair and say, "Mommy, you're boo-ti-full." We taught her how to give hugs but no one told her to run up to the TV exuberantly when I was watching our old wedding video and give Mommy and Daddy hugs on the TV. Overall, she can and will be influenced on her journey through life - mostly by her Dad and myself but nothing we could do could change who she really is.

The older she gets the more I want to honor these parts of her. I want to remember to praise her for her accomplishments, but even moreso for her expressions of herself. I want to tell her she's beautiful because she's caring, loving, warm and gentle, not because of the outfit she's wearing or the way she styles her hair. I want to encourage her in school but not to get straight A's - instead, to always try her best, be willing to try new things, and find the beauty in others. I want to teach her how to make choices based in love, not fear and to trust her own inner voice as much as she trusts mine. I want to teach her to see the best in everyone so she learns to accept others for they are, even when they're different.

I want to accept her for who she because she is absolutely perfect. I don't mean that in the diluted "My daughter's so perfect" sense that most every Mother feels towards her child. I mean it in quite a different sense entirely. I am perfect just as I am right now. You are perfect just as you are right now. If we spend our entire lives believing we will be better if, when, or because of some external factor, we will never find true inner radiant joy and peace. We will always be let down by the outer world because it changes like the wind. If we are happy because of a raise, a job, a person, or a thing, we WILL be let down because all of those things can and will change. We must find our happiness deep within ourselves - from God, the Source, the Universe, Buddha, Jesus or whatever higher power it is that you believe in - so we can stand like a strong tree that does not sway in the wind. We are perfect just as we are right now because we are IMPERFECT and will always be. So why not just accept ourselves as we are instead of constantly fighting against who we are as if somehow who you are right now is not enough?

My child does not need to be a straight A student to be loved and accepted by me. She does not need to be beautiful, straight, gay, tall, short, successful, athletic, artistic, musical or hard-working. She does not need to be anything other than exactly who she is right now. That is, after all, the definition of unconditional love. It is the same way in which we are loved and accepted by our Creator - completely and totally 150,000% unconditionally for who we are right now.

Now I know you might be reading this thinking about a child in your life who is acting a little less than what you feel is ideal right now and you are wondering to yourself, "How do you figure that my kid is perfect just as he/she is right now?" I ask you to look back at your life and all the stupid things you did as a kid (and even as an adult!) and see for yourself how they made you into exactly the person you are right now. Each and every "stupid" thing you ever did somehow defined you, taught you an invaluable life lesson, or shaped you into precisely the being you are right this moment. Would you trade those experiences? No, because then you would not be who you are!

So, as we stand witness to our children's "unfoldment" of life, the greatest gift we could give them is to love and accept the qualities and characteristics we might perceive as less than desirable just as much as those we perceive as desirable. Not to say you should turn a blind eye when your child makes a mistake. Instead, see their "bad" choices as opportunities for growth. Seize the opportunity to nurture them through their mistake-making with compassion and love. Even when a child is in the thick of the consequences a bad choice has created for them, they can display characteristics of their true inner being that are absolutely untouchable and profoundly, uniquely amazing. In and through their mistakes, they can demonstrate virtues like forgiveness, patience, tolerance, perserverance, acceptance and faith. So do your best to always allow them the room, the space, to learn just as we did, from our mistakes. Changing your perspective in such way, you may quite easily find yourself feeling much less frustrated, perturbed and annoyed with your kids when they are misbehaving!

When you find yourself witness to those divine little glimmers of Who He or She Really Is, celebrate them, honor them, appreciate them, and acknowledge them. These qualities, characteristics, traits and virtues which are completely immovable and unshakeable will be there in them through thick and thin. Teach them to value, grow and cherish these things which cannot be moved or shaken in our crazy, uncertain world. Even when your child is no longer a child - when they are 20, 30, or 80, the best thing you can do for them is remind them of Who They Really Are. You are one of the chosen few who gets to witness their unfolding so you will always be one of the select few who can remind them of who they really are when they start to forget.

Even better still, they will often find ways to remind you of Who YOU Really Are. When you are laughing hysterically as you chase them around the playground or when you cry tears of joy as they read you their first handwritten poem, when they fall in love for the first time and it reminds you of how you felt when you had your first crush. In these moments, your child blesses you with their own divine gift - of giving you back to yourself. They can teach us by example how to embrace every moment of life wholeheartedly, unabashedly and completely.

So live outloud! Laugh loudly when you're happy, sob when you are brokenhearted and stomp your feet when you're mad if you want! Why not live like a 2 year old - they seem quite happy!

Listen to the chorus of the song below and hold it in your heart everytime you look at your child...and everytime you look in the mirror.

Kayta Bella Boutique's "Trying NOT To Go Out of Business" Sale

2009-04-03T10:19:00.000-07:00

Kayta Bella Children's Clothing Boutique, located inside the Art Mart of Sedona.

Trying Not to Go Out of Business Sale - 20% Off Everything in the Store!

If you're looking for affordable and adorable gifts for the little ones in your life, now is the time to visit Kayta Bella Boutique located in the Art Mart of Sedona, next to Harkin's Theater. They've just announced their biggest sale ever - the "Trying NOT to Go Out of Business" Sale. With the recession hitting families of every shape and size, Kayta Bella hopes the unbelievable "20% off everything in the store" sale, will help visitors and locals alike find several special items to take home to the little ones in their lives. Choose from infant and toddler girls and boys outfits, jackets, pajamas, shirts, jeans and more. Looking for a last minute Baby Shower or Birthday gift? Kayta Bella has a wonderful selection of newborn layette items - from blanket and rattle gift sets to embroidered onsies with sayings like "Miss Behaving'" and "Like Father, Like Son."

With a 20% discount, the store's bestseller Twirly Girl dresses are now offered at an unbeatable price nearly 40% off retail! 2-in-1 reversible dresses in sizes 2T- Girls 12 will make your little girl spin right round baby right round! Or, spoil that little princess with a fabulous "Wings of Wonder" Dress with built in wings!!! Straight from L.A., these chic little dresses will have a home in your little girl's closet forever.

Owners Megan, Kory and Kayta Aronson hope that their unprecedented sale will make it possible for them to keep the store in business. Megan says, "We really hoped to serve our community with our little store, offering the only namebrand, affordable children's clothing in Sedona at prices we knew even we could afford!" Unfortunately, the recession has hit this little family hard and if April's sales don't improve, the Aronsons will be forced to close the store at the end of month. They invite you to come and take part in their "Trying Not To Go Out of Business" sale where you'll find the most unbeatable deals in town paired with some of the cutest little kid's clothes you've ever seen. The Aronsons say, "We want to be here for years to come so we can offer families like ours great kid's clothes at prices they can afford. Please come and visit the store and help us stay in business so we can continue to serve Sedona's families." You can also order from Kayta Bella online - just email them at KaytaBella@yahoo.com.

Kayta Bella Children’s Clothing Boutique is located inside the Art Mart, a 12,000 square foot indoor art festival featuring the works of over 130 artists as well as a huge selection of clothing, jewelry, photography, watercolors, fountains, Kachina dolls, pottery, furniture and much more. Located at 2180 W. Hwy 89A next to Harkin’s Theater, they are open daily from 10-6 and Sundays 11-6. For more information about Kayta Bella visit http://www.kaytabella.com/ or call (928) 853-4559.

Remember, SHOP LOCAL first and you’re supporting families just like yours.

10 Things I've Learned from Dora - Part 2

2009-03-28T09:16:00.000-07:00

2. When you don't know which way to go, just ask the Map.

You've got an Inner Map in there called Intuition...God...All That Is...Your Inner Voice...The Universe...whatever you call it, it is always there and all you have to do is "go there" to find direction in your life. Sometimes we put up our own mental or emotional blocks that make it hard for us to get it to that Inner Voice. When I get really caught up in the drama of life, sometimes I even get physical pain in my chest where I'm blocking getting to my heart. Living in fear, doubt and worry will do that to you! Its when you stop and take the time to push all those negative thoughts out of your mind for a moment to listen to your heart (oh no, I can already hear DHT in the background now! "Listen to your heart, when its calling to you...!) that you find all the answers you need.

So..."Who do we ask for help when we don't know which way to go?" The Map! Your Map!

3. Its easy to get where you're going if you know how to get there.

Oh how easy life would be if we only had three little stops on the journey to our destination. In my life, I always wish for a simple how-to instructional on my current dilemma so I could simply follow the steps to reach my desired goal. Unfortunately, no such how-to manual for your life or mine exists. However, once you decide where you want to go, the Universe can help you follow the path that will lead you there. The Conversation with God books reminded me long ago of the power of thought. What we think, we create. When we waffle back and forth on should I do this or should I do that instead, the Universe call only mirror our confusion by creating a confusing path ahead. When we are clear on our goals, based on intuition and determination, the Universe can stand behind us completely and send our little snowball rolling down the hill with momentum. When we stay focused on the goal, the snowball builds as it rolls and eventually reaches its destination.

Struggling with a decision? Pick a path and try it out. If you meet resistance at every turn, its likely the Universe trying to tell you to pick another path. Not to say if you're a struggling musician who can't get a record deal its time to find a day job - but more to say, if you're trying X Y and Z to get your record deal, maybe head towards A B and C instead. I myself often find that when I'm trying too hard to make things happen on my own, I'm just creating a struggle for myself. When I follow my intuition, the struggle disappears and I'm doing and going and moving and shaking but its no longer a struggle - it just flows freely in the right direction as if the whole Universe were synchronizing a beautiful orchestral movement in my life. So whenever I start feeling anxious, frustrated, or like I'm starting to struggle, that's my first sign that I need to stop and redirect. If you're not moving in the right direction, you won't get anywhere - you'll just feel like Dora's school pet Nemo - a little gerbil in a cage spinning your big ole wheel of life!

Beyond all else, trust your intuition and let it guide you - ultimately, it will lead you in the right direction.

4. Amarillo is Spanish for Yellow.

Ok, that's really all there is to that one. Azul is Blue. Verde is Green. Rojo is Red. Habre means open, sierra means close. Arribe means up, abajo means down. I know all these things quite intrinsically now thanks to Dora making her new permanent home on my big screen television. More importantly, my kid knows all these things now and that really amazes me. Kudos to Dora for being educational for big girls and small!

5. We always have everything we need, even when we don't think we do.

If you haven't at some point in your Dora adventures stopped for a moment to envy Dora's little backpack for a second, you might not be human or you're just not willing to admit it. Who wouldn't want a talking purple backpack that can hold anything and everything and always has whatever you need? Got a flat tire? Backpack's got a pump to fill it up with air again! Got a hole in your hot air balloon? Backpack's got sticky tape that'll patch it right up!

One of the great illusions in life is that we don't always have everything we need. We think and feel and believe this great lie of life and thus we create it. We are SO good at focusing on all the things we DON'T have in life that we often forget to look around and see that we really do have everything we need. I remember one time when I was feeling really low and I stumbled upon an old list I had written of all the things I wanted to create in my life. As I read through the list, suddenly it dawned on me - I had ALL those things I had wanted to create!

When I get caught up in a false belief that I am not providing enough for my daughter I look at her and realize she is not lacking for anything. In fact, no matter what our financial woes are, she is really quite spoiled. I might still be wearing jeans I bought in high school but she constantly needs new clothes and even when I think I can't really afford them, they just magically appear.

For example, we recently found that Dora had lost a bit of her stickiness...on my daughter's very well-worn Dora tennis shoes. The velcro wasn't working anymore and even after cleaning it out time and again, my poor kid who, of course, insists on wearing the Dora shoes every single day, kept stepping right outta her shoes! We found an old pair to tide us over for awhile but they were really too small. I kept thinking that I needed to get her some new shoes but I didn't even have time to go look for any. A week or so went by and all of a sudden, shoes were falling from the sky. Really! My best friend came by with a bag full of barely-worn shoes in Kayta's size that her daughter had grown out of. Then a few days later my Mom came to visit and brought a new pair of Dora shoes!

So I may not have a talking purple backpack filled with sticky tape, snowsuits, space suits and anything else I might ever need. BUT, even when I think I don't have everything I need, the Universe finds a way to provide for me. What a beautiful lesson to learn in the midst of a recession. I know so many of us are losing our homes, our cars, our material "stuff" that we worked hard to obtain. Right now, it is very painful letting go of all of these things because in a way they kind of defined us. I liked being a Homeowner instead of a Renter. Maybe you liked owning an SUV instead of an economy car. But really, so long as we have somewhere to live and some way to get around even if its just using our feet, we always have everything we need! When we are not defined by the things we have, we realize it doesn't really matter where we live or how we get around so long as we have a place to be and a way to get where we're going.

I'm reminded of scene from the Will Smith movie "The Pursuit of Happyness" when Will and his son had to spend a night in a disgusting subway station bathroom. Will made up a crazy dinosaur game to play that created a beautiful illusion out of a dingy, odor-filled bathroom. At the lowest point of his life, he found a way to provide everything his son needed for him. Even when it looks like Hell, we can find a way to be in Heaven.

The next time you start feeling a sense of lack in your life, make a list of all the things you are grateful for - the things you DO have. You might be surprised to find that you are most thankful for "things" like family, love, laughter, hope, trust, and peace instead of houses, cars, clothes and money. You'll find this a very freeing feeling because you can always create love and laughter in your life (especially when you have kids!) even when you're broke and if you can do that, you can ALWAYS find ways to be happy, joyful and peaceful - even in a recession!

Part 3 of "What I've Learned from Dora" coming soon!

10 Things I Learned from Dora: #1 "Tweenagerhood" Never Looked So Good

2009-03-19T21:42:00.001-07:00

I was one of "those" Moms who wasn't going to let my daughter watch TV at a young age. I saw the reports on Baby Einstein videos delaying speech development. I heard the mixed commentary arguing the pro's and con's of television exposure before the age of 2 and I seriously made up my mind that my daughter would not watch TV. I was going to protect her from the big, bad, ugly world of cartoon land because it would certainly rewire her brain or overload it at the least, right?

Notsomuch. We started with the Baby Einstein videos and she was mesmerized. Then my Mom started in on Dora when my daughter got a little older. From the very first time she laid eyes on Dora at age 9 mos, Kayta was in love. Now, she demands Dora 72 times a day. Dora has taken over our house. We have the Dora shoes, the Dora couch, the Dora bed, the Dora doll, the Dora movies, the Dora figures, the Dora coloring books, the Dora jammies, the Dora toothbrush. In fact, I actually got excited when I saw a Dora trashcan at Wal-Mart for Christmas! My daughter wakes up and asks for Dora. Before she goes to bed she asks for Dora. Today she put on a new shirt and ran to the TV and said "Go show Dora?!"

I never thought I would be one of "these" Moms who lets my kid watch so much TV! But guess what, I am! And guess what else? My daughter has been able to count to 10 in Spanish and English since she was 19 months old. She can also count to 20 in English. When she needs help she calls out "Help, ayudame" which is Spanish for help. She hears a siren go by and says "Mommy, I hear siren. Look, a fire engine!" She dances, claps and responds to Dora as if she were right here in our living room. When she needs to settle down for naptime, Dora comforts her and helps her relax to go to sleep. She reads her Dora books above and beyond all others. She knows all her colors in English and many of them in Spanish. She speaks in full sentences. Call the Baby Einstein study experts - TV didn't delay speech in our case! In fact, I see no signs of anything but Dora having a very positive influence on my child.

So, with all the countless Dora episodes I have watched, it was only fitting that I create a list of the top 10 things I've learned from Dora. After all, that little girl's one smart cookie! She has a lot to teach boys and girls big and small.

PART 1

1. Tweenager-hood never looked so good?

Did you hear? Dora the Explorer got a makeover. Call me controversial but I must admit I am a little perplexed at the new Tweenager version of the sweet, innocent childhood character who has inadvertently become the 4th member of our family. A friend of mine put it so well when she said to me, "You don't see Mickey Mouse getting a makeover, do you?"

The new Dora thankfully will not replace the existing Dora - whew! Many parents are outraged by the news of the "brand-extension" Dora doll set to be released this Fall. In fact there's even an online petition you can sign to protest the release of the Doll. But before you whip out your pen to sign on the dotted line, understand a few things. The old Dora isn't going anywhere. The new Dora is just a doll and for now, will not have her own TV show. And finally, the new Dora will still have values, or so the recent Press Release from Mattel says.

No matter what your reaction to the makeover - I've heard everything from "What's the big deal, she looks cute" to "Sexed up Dora the Whora" - the question remains, why change her at all? When Dora needed a male counterpart, they introduced her cousin, Diego. When Dora was traveling and needed help around the world, friends from Paris, Russia, and China would appear to help. So, in my eyes, if Mattel wanted to appeal to a "tween" demographic of 5-10 year olds, why not just create a new Dora friend? Or make Annalisa, Diego's older sister, into the "tween" centered doll?

Another excellent point made on Dr. Robyn's Blog was "Why focus on appearance? Why change it at all?" Bordering on the line of reading WAY too much into this little makeover I will say, it points at our culture's fundamental obsession with appearances which as parents is exactly what we try to protect our little girls from. I've spent countless hours speaking with other Moms, self-esteem experts and authors about how I could build my daughter's self-esteem. Don't criticize your body in front of your child (or at all), tell them they're beautiful when they don't have make-up or jewelry on, foster their confidence in their inner beauty. But everywhere we look, now even at Dora, we see a focus on appearance. Truly, I know the impact this appearance-centered culture has on girls because I was once a little girl myself not too long ago. When my Mom wouldn't let me wear make-up until I was 13 and all my friends were wearing it at 10, I felt ugly. When I couldn't have my ears pierced at the time that double piercings were all the rage, I felt ugly. When I couldn't wear the latest name brand clothes or designer dresses, I felt frumpy. All because our culture tells us we need these things to be beautiful.

Did you ever notice how the old Dora really has a pretty disjointed little outfit? Her pink shirt is a bit too short so her slightly chubby little belly peeks out a bit. She has red shorts, yellow socks, white shoes and a purple backpack. The jewelry she wears was given to her by her "Mommy & Poppy." She has a huge head, matching ginormous brown eyes and short hair. We all find her totally adorable when in reality her appearance doesn't fit any of our normal standards of cuteness. A real-life Dora could easily be considered hodge podge.

I think the Dora Makeover has received so much attention because we've all grown to love our Dora the Explorer for who she is. She's cute but not gorgeous, lovable but not pretentious. She teaches our children to work towards their goals, use their heads to solve problems, to find joy in exploring the world, to celebrate their friendships and accomplishments, and to treasure their families. She radiates inner beauty.

Who knows what conversations went on in the Mattel boardrooms as they decided Dora's fate. I can only imagine the tension in the room over such a crucial yet trivial decision in the grand scheme of things. One thing is certain, at least the tiniest bit of Dora's wholesome goodness has been tainted by the decision to let her grow up right before our eyes. After all, as parents, we all know how hard it is to watch our little ones grow up.

So what do YOU think of Dora's makeover? Please post your comments! And check back for Part 2 of my "10 Things I Learned From Dora" Blog.

Quote for the Day

2009-03-15T10:12:00.000-07:00

The pain that you create now is always some form of nonacceptance, some form of unconscious resistance to what is. On the level of thought, the resistance is some form of judgment. On the emotional level, it is some form of negativity. The intensity of the pain depends on the degree of resistance to the present moment, and this in turn depends on how strongly you are identified with your mind." - Page 27 of The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

Give yourself a few moments to meditate on these powerful words. What pain are you feeling right now? Can you see how that pain stems from nonacceptance of your present moment? What if this moment is exactly what your soul as chosen complete with all those little things you judge as painful? Of course, I do not mean to belittle the emotions you are feeling at this moment rather I encourage you to accept them as your present moment and embrace them fully no matter how scary they are. Its when we run away from our emotions, bury them under our thoughts, ignore them, or deny them that our body is eaten alive by unexpressed emotion. Emotional pain is expressed as physical pain and a sick cycle of suffering begins. When an emotion arises in your heart, see it, embrace it, experience it - even the scariest parts of it. You can go through it or go around it but if you don't deal with it, it will still be there.

Put A Little Love in Your Heart

2009-03-14T12:17:00.001-07:00

True service to others requires giving of yourself freely not expecting anything return. In the age of social networking, blogging, Twittering, Pinging, Mashing, linking, commenting and a million other "ing's", it is so easy to serve others in simple yet profound ways. Most of the time all it costs you is a little time and in return you gain beautiful new connections with others.

How can we support each other's dreams? How can I support your individual path in life? Its not a rhetorical question...I really want answers!

Part of my journey is discovering, recognizing and acknowledging others on their own paths by showing a genuine desire to support them wherever they are going. With whatever time I have, I try to support those willing to ask for support. I try to visit other Twitter pages to discover new Blogs, comment on them, link to them or RT them to share them with my Followers. If I find something I really connect with, I get behind it as much as I can. In the process, I gain beautiful new connections with amazing people who are also in service of the greater good. I am so thankful for Web 2.0 making all of this so easy and so possible. The Social Networking Movement IS a "movement" in bringing people together to connect and work together towards change in our world...towards bringing hope, joy, connection, selfless action and positivity to others in big ways and small.

I think it is so beautiful to see like-minded individuals moving along on their own path towards their own destinies, realizing more and more of Who They Really Are each day. I wholeheartedly support anyone in service to the greater good. If we first serve others, the Universe/God/All That Is will support us.

So that's what I'm doing here. Finding joy just in sharing my own journey with others who might benefit in hearing what I have to share. It brings me great joy to know that I can help others simply by sharing my own little daily epiphanies!

So as much as I am hoping this Blog will be hugely successful with thousands of followers and people banging down my door offering me the world on a silver platter...I am content to know that I am touching even just ONE life by showing up here as often as I can sharing whatever it is that is real for me at the moment.

I will say that it would bring me even greater joy to know that I am helping you in any way, big or small so if you are so moved to share your own experiences or how you can relate to mine, please do. Also, please share your dreams and your goals so I can try to support you wherever you are going, too.

Thank you for joining the Social Networking for the Greater Good Movement! You are here now...and we are MOVING, so you are part of "The Movement!"

I hope you have a joyful, beautiful, uplifting day today. Find peace within no matter where you are at on your journey.

I am heading to Phoenix to my cousin's baby shower ready to face a difficult day head on. Her Mother is very ill with cancer that has spread throughout her body. I don't know if she has years, months, weeks or days left on this Earth but I plan to try and make the most of whatever time I am given with her and support my cousin however I can through this difficult transition. If you think of me today, send a little light and love my way please.

Much love to you on your journeys.

Cravings

2009-03-09T22:41:00.000-07:00

"All cravings are the mind seeking salvation or fulfillment in external things & in the future as a substitute for the joy of Being. As long as I am my mind, I am those cravings, those needs, wants, attachments, and aversions, and apart from them there is no "I" except as a mere possibility, an unfulfilled potential, a seed that has not yet sprouted."

~Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

I know I am in my mind and apart from my heart when I am craving. Craving something automatically implies a sense of lack. It implies separateness from others when in fact we are all connected.

Lately, I've been craving answers, looking for them everywhere I can OUTSIDE myself. It was when I took a moment to be still, turn off the ticker tape of my mind and just listen that they came. So here I am, sharing my answers with you.

We are not alone on this journey. We are all connected, moving into and out of each other's realms affecting each other in ways we can't even imagine. The littlest thing you do or don't do could make a huge impact on someone else's life, path or journey and you might never know it. So just when you start thinking you're alone in this, remember, you are not. You are affecting me right now just by reading this. I am affecting you by writing it. I am sharing something you might already know but just needed a reminder of today. I hope you will share back. I would love to hear how we are "connecting without even knowing" on this virtual plane.

Amazingly enough and much to my PLEASANT surprise, my journey on Twitter recently has made me feel a renewed sense of connection with others. I feel like we're all working towards common goals of sharing, gratitude, enlightenment, connection and beauty. It has been an amazing process to be part of.

This blog's for you, Twitterers. Thank you for daily doses of inspiration. Here is mine for you.

Freedom from Suffering

2009-03-08T17:38:00.000-07:00

Ever have those days when you feel like nothing goes your way? You reach for a spoon and pull out fork, you think you've remembered everything just to find you forgot the one most important thing, you spot the perfect parking space as some swoops into it ahead of you, you pick the perfect produce to find rotten spots on the underbellies when you get home. You know what kind of days I'm talking about, right? The days where no matter how well organized you are, how much you've planned ahead or allowed extra time for unexpected delays, you just simply can't get things to go the way you want them to.

Today was one of those days for me. It has already been a stressful couple of weeks and the weekend has yet to offer much relief. Ever heard that saying "Sh!t flows downhill?" Well, its flowing!!! I am up to my eyeballs in it. I am swimming in it. At times, I am drowning in it. The economy and this beautiful recession/depression (call it whatever you like - if it looks like a duck, its a duck! And this duck is definitely biting me in the ass!) is affecting all of us in ways big and small. It feels like every day I wake up motivated to make a difference in my life and other's and I am repeatedly beaten down like one of those video arcade games where you bop the poor little crocodile on the head every time he pops his head out.

The burning fire of this recession is definitely bringing out the best and sometimes the worst in me. I haven't been able to go to Unity Church for 2 weeks thanks to what I will simply call "A Family Meal of the Flu for 3 please!" and I am feeling it. I crave that hour and a half of release so badly. At home, I am shutting it out because I am angry, angry, angry. I am fighting, fighting, fighting. I am managing to find "translucent" moments but only as bursts of sunshine coming through the clouds on a stormy afternoon.

It's been a weekend of fulfilling obligations and I think that my free spirit automatically reacts to the constraints of feeling everyone else has control over my time and energy but me. My daughter has had my time and energy balled up like a little mouse she's been holding under her finger. I'm there under her finger running and running and running but I'm not getting anywhere no matter how hard I try. I give her a spoon, she wants a fork. I give her Dora, she wants Little Einsteins. I give her a nap, she wants to eat. I give her food, she wants to sleep. Are you starting to notice a theme here?!

In addition, my boss is asking for more of my time for less money. My family is asking for more of my time when I just need to make money. And my husband has fallen as the third victim in our family to this lovely lovely dose of the flu that made me lose 3 lbs overnight. Yeah, its a doozy.

*SIGH*

You know the best way to stop feeling like nothin's goin' your way?

Stop trying so hard to make everything go your way.

I know, it sounds so simple I can imagine it in large font printed on the side of a children's Happy Meal. But I really really really can attest to the profundity (is that a word?!) of this simple concept.

There's a quote our Rev. Pope from my little Unity Church shared in Sunday Service a few weeks ago. I believe its from The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle...it goes something like this...

"Freedom from suffering is realizing that everything is exactly how it is meant to be right now."

I apologize because that's my hurry-up-and-scribble-down-what-the-Rev-said-while-still-fully-embracing-the-depths-of-his-words paraphrased version of the quote. You can see what I'm getting at though, right?

When you FIGHT against everything in your life, constantly trying to change what is or isn't happening to you, you put yourself in the VICTIM role. You might as well just turn into a rag doll and throw yourself at the mercy of the sea being tossed around like popcorn in a kettle. You're mad because this person is doing THAT to you, or that person isn't giving enough of THIS to you or because your child is demanding too much of SOMETHING from you. You fight the urge to grapple at some sense of control in your life looking for something - anything - to grab onto so you can be in control again. You find yourself angry at everyone and everything without even realizing it feeling edgy, jumpy, moody and dissatisfied.

You are a victim of circumstances and because of this choice, you are now also a victim of SUFFERING. You are creating suffering for yourself because you are choosing to feel angry and irritated about all these things that aren't going your way. To compensate for this feeling of helplessness, you might find yourself working extra hard to create control and change in your life. I myself stay up late at night looking for some magical job offer online. Sometimes I must admit, I even look for fulfillment in creating new relationships on social networking sites. Sound familiar? Now I'm not saying there's anything wrong with looking for a new job or new friends online. Its when I'm doing these things because I'm looking for fulfillment outside myself that there's a problem.

Its really just my own sense of dissatisfaction with my life and circumstances looking for an external sense of fulfillment. I might as well smoke a cigarette, roll a joint, snort a line, or gulp down a shot of "external satisfaction" in that fruitless search for outward fulfillment.

If you look to OUTWARD awards, accomplishments or affirmations for fulfillment, you will find yourself feeling constantly disappointed. You are putting your happiness in the hands of others or in the hands of fickle friends like drugs and alcohol, or in my case late-night job hunting or fruitless toiling of some sort. It really is a tricky little sick cycle because I know in this situation I tell myself I am doing the right thing TOILING away tirelessly trying to change my circumstances, looking for that perfect job, etc. Its not really that any of these practices are wrong in so much as it is the thinking and doing behind them. I am looking for something outside myself to fulfill this hole I have inside me right now - this disconnect I am feeling from Who I Really Am because I'm so caught up in that sea of worries, fear, judgement, dissatisfaction, and discontentment. I feel better working and fighting against my circumstances because I feel like I'm doing something to work towards change in my life. But I'm forgetting the most important thing...that change comes from within. Cliche as it might sound, it is true.

When you start to fall asleep at the wheel, the best thing to do is close your eyes.

Ha ha. Did I get your attention with those visual images of driving your car right off a steep cliff? I didn't mean it literally, I meant it figuratively of course!

Spiritual leaders and teachers like to call this way of living in fear & worries, feeling separate from others and helpless to change your circumstances...SLEEPING. You've fallen asleep in this daydream/nightmare of a reality based in fear. Your thoughts revolve around "What's in it for me?" because you have no trust in God/The Universe or in God/The Universe in others to support you through the good times and bad. This level of trust is summed up in one simple word...Faith. When you are asleep the idea of Faith feels irresponsible. You tell yourself that trusting that things are just magically going to work out is irresponsible - lazy even - because you yourself are not doing and doing to MAKE that change you want to see happen.

Now I'm not saying you shouldn't be doing things to make changes happen in your life. What I'm saying is that when you are AWAKE and working from a space of LOVE, not fear trusting in God/The Universe and God/The Universe in others with that unwavering sense of Faith, it doesn't feel like WORK. You are working towards change but it is no longer this fight, this struggle AGAINST some unseen force. It becomes a freely flowing rhythmic dance. You are no longer a rag doll at the mercy of stormy waters. You are a fish moving freely through the waters, changing with the tides as they come and go.

So, right now, take a deep breath.

Really. I mean it.

Take.

DEEP

Breath.

Feel a little better? Good. Now, take a few more minutes to be alone with yourself, to be quiet and go within to find that still silence in your heart. When you find that silence, you will also find the beautiful river of peace that flows with it.

I strongly encourage you to visit this peaceful place of stillness within at least once a day. Its like putting gas in your car. You can't get anywhere without it. Do whatever you have to do to remind yourself to stay awake so if you start swerving off the side of the road you'll have something there to JOLT you out of your slumber again. Put up post-it notes around your house or on your mirror with quotes, saying or phrases that remind you to be RADICALLY ALIVE. Buy a pack of those Power of Thought daily affirmation cards and put them next to your bed to read before you go to sleep and again when you wake up. If you enjoy reading (which you must if you've read this far) make daily reading as important in your routine as eating. Feed your soul with powerful new reading, visiting blogs or websites like this one, or try a CD of your newest read in the car. Give yourself 30 minutes after the kids go to bed where you ignore the dishes and laundry and take care of YOUR spiritual health by reading or meditating or both. Don't worry, the dishes and laundry will still be there when you're done (and you'll probably find they're easier to deal with when you're in your new and improved peaceful state of mind)!

You don't have to struggle or fight no matter how difficult your circumstances. You can choose to accept your life, your finances, your partner, your child just the way they are right now. When you find that acceptance take a moment to find gratitude in your circumstances as well...even if all you have to be grateful for is that you are learning a great deal from this difficult path right now. Then every time you start to feel angry or dissatisfied again, take your hands off the wheel, close your eyes, find that still voice within and listen to it. That voice will guide you through life if you just take the time to listen to it.

When You Come Back Down

2009-03-05T10:03:00.000-08:00

I turned on Pandora Internet Radio today and the first song to come on was this one...

"When You Come Back Down"
By Nickelcreek

You got to leave me now, you got to go alone
You got to chase a dream, one that's all your own
Before it slips away
When you're flyin' high, take my heart along
I'll be the harmony to every lonely song
That you learn to play
When you're soarin' through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare I'll still be there
When you come back down
When you come back down
I'll keep lookin' up, awaitin' your return
My greatest fear will be that you will crash and burn
And I won't feel your fire
I'll be the other hand that always holds the line
Connectin' in between your sweet heart and mine
I'm strung out on that wire
And I'll be on the other end,
To hear you when you call
Angel, you were born to fly,
If you get too high
I'll catch you when you fall
I'll catch you when you fall

[Bridge:]
Your memory's the sunshine every new day brings
I know the sky is calling
Angel, let me help you with your wings
When you're soarin' through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare
I'll still be there
When you come back down
Take every chance you dare,
I'll still be there
When you come back down
When you come back down
_____

This song was actually the song I chose for my Father/Daughter Dance at my wedding. But listening to the heartstrings of this song again today, I heard it again in yet a new context. I hear the Universe/God/All That Is beckoning me on to fly...to take every chance I dare.

I feel this has been the New Chapter of my life lately...this daring woman inside me has risen up from the ashes of past hurts & broken dreams like a Phoenix with bright colorful wings now spread. A daring new me has emerged and I'm taking every chance I dare. I have lived so long in fear and self-limiting beliefs that grew like layers of an onion, thickly melded one right on top of the other until only a sharp, piercing cut could break apart all the layers. Now the core of Who I Really Am has been revealed again - the piece of me that trusts in the Universe and that safety net that will always be there When I Come Back Down.

Listening to Nicklecreek I am reminded that there will always be a rope, a ladder, a love, a dream there to catch me if I fall.

What chances would you take today if you could "take every chance you dare?" If you could peel away the layers of self-limiting beliefs and fears, say yes when you hear the little, limited you saying no and making excuses - where would you fly? I used to assume that everyone would always say no to me because why would they want what I have. Now I assume that someone MIGHT say yes to me because they might want what I have. I used to assume that I couldn't follow my dreams until my kids went to school and I was older. Then I woke up one day and found I'm not getting any younger while I'm waiting for my kids to get older. Why can't I follow my dreams AND be a good Mom? Want to talk about modeling good behaviour to your child? Imagine if you could show them how to fearlessly go after your dreams, to trust that even after the hardest falls you will be able to get back up again!

Someone once told me, "You might have to get 10 'No's' before you get that 1 'YES'!" But once you get that one YES all those NO's just fade into distant memories. So go out there and get as many NO's as you can because they are leading to that one beautiful YES you've been waiting for.

Take every chance you dare...

You were born to fly.

How I'm (Barely) Surviving the Terrible 2's

2009-02-27T07:45:00.000-08:00

She's not even 2 yet.

But it's already begun.

I'm not talking a little tantrum here or there, I'm talking this has been one of the most trying weeks of my life!

Up to this point, I've always felt I was a relatively decent parent who kept her cool even when things got frustrating but up to this point I think I've had a relatively easy kid! My daughter has tested my patience in every way possible this week...this month...this YEAR! Its been slowly building for the last couple months in fact. We had her completely potty trained the weekend after Christmas. For a month solid, she hardly had any accidents - I'd say maybe one a week at the most. Then my Father-in-law came for a visit and because we don't have an extra bedroom, he had to room with Kayta. When my Father-in-law left, I had surgery to have all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed and was completely out of parenting commission for several days. Once I was feeling better, my husband left to go on a 3-day skiing trip to Lake Tahoe. Needless to say, my little girl's world was turned upside down by that stream of events! I've tried to be patient with the potty-training reversion but it has gotten progressively worse and worse. So this week we started putting "Pull-up's" on her so we could stop doing laundry every 5 minutes and guess what - now she's not having any accidents! Not even in the Pull-up's! I think my kid just likes messin' with me!

The potty training frustration has been coupled with the sudden emergence of a bratty, obnoxious, spirited little Diva with a 'tude. Where did my sweet innocent little "Mommy's Helper"girl go?

I think it could very well be one of life's most difficult challenges for those of us who take on the role of parent. How do you talk to a kid who doesn't want to hear what you have to say? How do you talk to a kid who doesn't fully understand you or the world around her yet? And how do you meet your needs and your child's when they challenge your every request, even the most simple and mundane?

My husband and I tried everything from timeouts to bedtime without dinner...

My daughter just interupted my blogging to give me some kisses...and then slap me on the face. Joyous! See what I'm talking about?!

Anyway, as I was saying, we've tried everything. Being firm, being gentle; timeouts, rewards; threats, punishments, games, fun, outbursts of silliness and outbursts of anger. I certainly haven't felt good about every method we've employed but I've tried them against my better judgement/inner voices because I was at wit's end! It was during an episode in the bathtub in which following my directions was crucial to her safety, that I finally just lost it. Afterwards, I wanted to throw up. I was so mad at myself for losing my cool, for setting a bad example for my daughter by letting my anger and frustration get the best of me. All I did was yell at her, but I hated that I'd even done that. This was not the kind of parent I wanted to be. I thought to myself, "Here I am writing this wonderfully enlightened blog trying to tell other parents like me how to better parents and I'm a sham myself! I don't know how to deal with this challenge!"

Well, you know what? Last time I checked, we weren't required to get Master's degrees in Early Childhood Development before we could procreate. Sure, there are birthing, breastfeeding and parenting classes available to expectant parents but in these classes you're learning how to care for a child's basic needs of being clothed, fed, burped and rested. I have yet to see a class offered on "How to Deal with being THAT Mom at the Park Who's Child is Laying on the Ground Having a Full-Blown Temper Tantrum Because It's Time to Leave." Anyone seen a class like that being offered anywhere? If so, please let me know, I'll be first in line to attend!

My point is, no parent - even those who are "experts", even those who do have Master's degrees in Early Childhood Development, even those with 17 kids - has all the answers. Sometimes we just don't know what to do. Sometimes we're so frustrated at our own wit's end, its next to impossible to get down to our heart level and find that divine voice within that will peacefully and calmly lead us through the troubled waters of toddlerhood, teenagerhood or adulthood! Of course I know if I could always have the presence of mind to "go within" and open myself up to hearing my Inner Voice, I would probably be able to fumble through parenthood a little more gracefully. But I'm a human being too and I have feelings, needs and desires too. I am not a impenetrable robot who feels nothing when my child smacks me while I'm showering her with all the love I have for her in my heart.

So I went in search of some tools to help me gear up for the challenges ahead because from what I hear, I could have a couple years of this fun to look forward to.

Here's what I've learned on my journey of (barely) surviving the terrible 2's.

I've listed several topics I'd like to explore and expand on further in Part 2 of this blog. For now, I felt I should go ahead and post this - my intuition tells me you might be here reading this right now because you're going through something similar. So I want to share what I have for now in hopes it might help you in any way, even the smallest. At the very least, the next time you are feeling at your wit's end, stop and give yourself a little dose of self-empathy "I am feeling very ANGRY right now because my kid just smacked me!" You deserve some recognition and acknowledgement for what YOU'RE going through. I'll be back to expand on the thoughts below some more. In the meantime, I've provided some links that were very helpful for me on these topics.

Ideas for Surviving Parenthood

NVC (Nonviolent Communication) - Here's the link to a great article I read on this: http://consciouslyparenting.com/article_NVC_MeetingNeeds.html

You'll learn more about building a language of feelings with your child, offering them empathy and offering yourself empathy. My attempts at this in the last couple days have been very successful. Although I've practiced NVC for years, I needed a refresher course on how to use it with my child. Honestly, I thought she was too young for it. But it seems like taking the time to stop and recognize her needs and feelings really diffuses the situation no matter what it is. Helping her understand my feelings in conjunction with that is teaching her at an early stage that she affects those around her.

Count to 10 & Teach Your Kid to Count to 10 with You
Rewards Instead of Punishment
Connection, Connection, Connection - stopping, asking questions about how they are feeling and why then offering a compromise (bring the toy with you, play a fun game when we get home from the park, offering autonomy)
Easing Transitions - warnings, bringing toy with, giving a choice
Empathy for your child and yourself
Teaching them a feelings language - helps them learn their emotions when they feel out of control
Remove from Situation or Remove Object of Frustration if possible
Living with the Natural Consequences
Instilling the Behaviors You Want Them to Model - have them help you with chores however they can on a daily basis so they learn the joy of helping
Peace and Calm through a storm - eventually they will learn this behavior as well if you model it consistently
Let Them Calm Down First - don't try to reason with them when they are in an altered state of mind. Lovingly hold them til they are ready - their emotions are scary for them.
Don't withhold your love and/or affection
Find support - Learn from others. Will post more resources here.
Tell them how they're making you feel
Make them say sorry
Build problem solving skills with them
Make her feel like your equal instead of your inferior - this empowers her, makes her feel respected and less rebellious against your authority.

My belief is this...I don't want to "make" my child into what I think she should be. Of course, I want her to have basic core values and understandings of how to treat others with love and respect. But ultimately, I want her to be exactly the person SHE is meant to be, not the person I think she should be. I believe that giving a child as much autonomy and as many choices as possible builds problem solving, choice-making adult-like skills from the get-go. I've also noticed that whenever I offer a choice about whatever I can, it takes the sting out of her not getting a choice about whatever we're doing. Eg: We have to eat right now because it's lunchtime - you might not get a choice about when we eat because you're not old enough to make those choices for yourself yet but I can let you choose which bib you want to wear, which spoon and bowl you want to use, which cup you want to drink from. You don't necessarily have to give them all those choices because I certainly understand there is a fine line between creating a well-rounded child and creating a monster who wants to choose everything for herself! I myself usually offer one choice during the most difficult part of the transition from play to meal time and it seems to work wonders. If she's still having a tough time with the transition, I offer another choice and another based on my own intuition on how far to go with it. I'll also try singing a song or offering her a toy or book to play with. Another thing I've learned, if at all possible, prepare the meal before sitting her down to eat instead of while she's eating. This way, you can sit down and eat with her so you set the example that this is what we do at meal time and so she doesn't feel left out eating all alone.

When all else fails, ignore everything anyone else has ever told you (including me) and trust your own instincts! You know your child better than anyone else. Take a break, walk away and go within. This is a very healthy behaviour to teach your child and will give you the peace of mind to find your own inner answers on how to move forward. I've also found that walking away makes quite a point to my kid - she knows she crossed the line and hurt my feelings. I can be honest with her and tell her "You hurt my feelings when you hit me on the face." I can give myself a little dose of empathy for feeling sad that she hit me...and then I can move forward working from my Heart, not my Hurt. What a lesson I would be teaching my daughter if I could do nothing more than that...teach her to live from her Heart, not her Hurt.

Check back for Part 2 COMING SOON!

Make Connecting with Your Child Your #1 Priority

2009-02-24T20:50:00.000-08:00

Random Thought for the Week

Make CONNECTING with your child your #1 priority.

I remember as a child I would be sitting on the couch around the TV with my family telling my Dad all about my day. My Mom would be listening intently to me, offering advice, input and many "hmm-mmm's" to let me know I was being heard, to show she respected me by valuing what I had to say and to help me grow by offering advice. 10 minutes into a direct conversation with my Dad he would turn his eyes away from the TV and say "Huh, what, were you talking to me?" My Dad was an awesome Father in many ways. He always did what he thought was best for me. But in his eyes, he was giving me the most he possibly could by going to work day in and day out making a living to provide for our family. Little did he know, I craved his attention more than anything.

Now that I'm "all growed up" and a parent myself, my Dad looks back on my childhood and my sister's and wishes he had done things differently. He wishes he had spent more time with us. He never realized that my sister and I would gladly have eaten franks and beans to have a Daddy/Daughter day or moment.

Connecting with your child is more than just spending time with them. I mean, really, come on, we are with them ALL THE TIME it seems, right? Even if we work, we come home and we're with them non-stop. We are spending time with them but are we CONNECTING with them? If you're watching T.V., making dinner, on the computer (typing away a deeply inspirational blog! LOL!), paying bills or talking to your spouse multi-tasking 300 things as usual, you are probably not connecting with your child.

True connection requires undivided attention, looking deeply into your child's eyes and letting them know they are being heard, that their words, their thoughts and ideas are valued and respected by their parents. This builds self-esteem, trust, empowerment in your child.

Lately, I've have my hand in so many different cookie jars that I've been incredibly distracted when I'm home with my daughter. I've gotten caught up in this constant feeling of "There must be something I should be doing - bills to pay, dishes to wash, laundry to fold, work to do - something!" I tell myself I'm just trying to provide for my family to make sure we have money to put a roof over our heads, food on the table, a clean home to live in, etc... so I'm just doing what "I have to do." Out of this a sick cycle has come into being in our home. Our precocious 21 month old who has been potty-trained for 2 months is having accidents all the time, acting out, sucking her thumb and holding her "Lamby" more.

It took me opening up The Translucent Revolution and skipping way ahead to the Parenting chapter to get the wake-up call I needed. When I read those words, "Make connection with your child your #1 priority" a light bulb went off in my head.

The greatest gift you can give your child is yourself.

Certainly there are many things to be done each day just to get through the day-to-day of life but there are ways to balance housework, chores, and even your own pleasure with fulfilling your child's desire for connection.

Include Your Kids in Whatever It Is You "Have" to Do

One Mom I know says she includes her daughter in the chores. Now I know this is a hard one to do because you'd rather just do it yourself and get it done quickly so you can move on to the next thing, right? But really, this can be a lot of fun and no matter how little your kids are, they can turn into quite the helpers. Involving them shows them that you respect them and value them enough to entrust them with, what to them is a "big task" in your "big world." It builds self-esteem, making them feel empowered because they are learning how to do something new to help you. It can be as simple as unloading the dishwasher and picking a select few dishes you might not mind having to wash again if they get dropped accidentally, and asking your child "Can you put this away in X drawer?"

My daughter loves to help me with the laundry, sweeping and vacuuming, and unloading the dishes. When we do the laundry she'll run to my room, pick up the article of clothing then run to the laundry room and throw it into the washer even though she can barely reach high enough to do so! She just loves it and it makes her feel so proud of herself!

Involve Your Child in Something YOU Love & Enjoy

I love to paint. I'd love for my daughter to enjoy painting as much as I do. She might not like painting at all but she might enjoy trying something new! We have a painting table that we can mess up as much as we'd like so I try to let her be as free as she wants. That freedom is SO empowering for her! She feels she has the power to CREATE something. She lights up and comes to life so excited to just take her paintbrush wherever she wants to. I put her in an environment where she can be totally free to mess up her clothes, her hair, our workspace, etc. and it makes the experience peaceful for me not having to worry about the mess...and peaceful for her not having to deal with a stressed-out Mommy!

Enjoy getting out in Nature? Take your child for a mild hike. You don't have to go far or climb high cliffs to experience the great outdoors. Sometimes just a walk around the block can prove to offer a world of fun if you make it fun. Pointing out new things, listening for new sounds, making games out of discoveries. What a joy to see the world through new eyes again. Pick a theme in nature and look for everything you can find within that theme. My daughter loves stop signs so we'll look for all the signs we can find - we'll stop and point to them and I'll ask her what numbers, letters and colors she sees. Try looking for cars and asking what color each one is, or looking for flowers, animals, colors, sticks or stones. Your child will feel so proud when they find the things you're looking for!

Never Too Busy

No matter what you're doing, take the time to stop and at least acknowledge your child. I read today on my weekly www.BabyCenter.com e-newsletter's tips for toddler discipline that acknowledging your child's words teaches them that what they say is important to you and worth stopping and listening to. But more importantly, it models to them what you'd like them to do for you which is stop and listen to what you have to say!

"Respect is mutual. One of the most common complaints parents and kids have about each other is 'You're not listening.' Set a good example early on: When your child tries to tell you something, stop what you're doing, focus your attention, and listen. Later you can require the same courtesy from her."

Make Time

Set aside at least 20-30 minutes a day of undivided attention and connection with your child. Turn the TV off. Turn your phone off. Turn your computer off. And turn your brain off. Don't think about what you have to do next. Just think about what you are doing right now. Do something fun with your child or simply sit down on the floor with them and join them in whatever they are doing. Coming down to their level shows them you are meeting them where they are at. Take them to the park, play on the swings, have a dance party together, make a pretend dinner or color pictures. Whatever it is, give it your WHOLE being for an undefined amount of time...give your child the gift of yourself.

Include Your Spouse

If you're married or in a relationship and find yourself constantly wishing your spouse would be more involved with your child, well, you're not alone, honey! =) As tempting as it is to just barrage our spouses with constant complaints about what they should or shouldn't be doing...I think you might find they'll be more likely to join the fun when your invitation is sweetened with honey. So give 'em an offer they can't refuse! How could anyone turn down an adorable 2 year old asking Daddy to join her for a tea party? Or a fun and playful beckoning from Mom to join the birthday-card making party at the coffee table? If you're having trouble finding ways to include your S.O. (significant other) make a date for fun. Before he/she is leaving for work ask them if they'd like to join you for a Tea Party after work. Leave a note on the mirror saying, "You're invited to Maddie's 1st Fashion Show" or something silly.

If your S.O. just isn't capable of connecting with your child this way, the best thing you can do is just accept he/she as they are and not try to change them. Invitations are one thing, ultimatums quite another. Instead, focus your attention on making sure your child knows that your partner loves them just as much as you do but that they might show it in different ways. A powerful book called "The Five Languages of Love" speaks about how some people show their love through gifts, some through actions, some through words, some through physical touch, some through talk, some through "providing" financially. Your partner might be speaking a different language but the message is usually the same - love, love, love.

The truth I am finding in my life is that my child values my time and attention more than anything. She doesn't understand the financials of our family and probably won't be able to even remotely begin to grasp those concepts until she's a bit older. Even when I was 16, 17, 18, I understood there were bills to be paid but still, all I wanted was true connection with my Dad. I wanted to know that he felt my feelings, ideas, opinions and experiences were just as important as his.

Sometimes our circumstances make it difficult to give our children the time, attention and CONNECTION we really want to give them. However, I believe it is fully possible to emit this sense of connection with your child whenever you are with them by listening to them, acknowledging their words, looking into their eyes when they are speaking and giving them your undivided attention whenever you can - even if just for that moment in which you must say "I hear you would like a snack. Right now I'm doing dishes but I will be done in 5 minutes and then we will get a snack. Would you like to help me with this or how about you play with your favorite toy for five minutes until I'm ready." Then remember to keep your word and when 5 minutes are up, give 'em that snack! This develops trust in you and the waiting process. *wink*

Start showing your child how powerful and beautiful he or she is right now by acknowledging what he or she has to say, speaking to him/her in questions and observations instead of statements and demands, and focusing your undivided attention on him/her as often as you can without any distractions. Include your child in your joy so that you can fulfill your heart's desires while filling their little wellsprings of beingness right up to the brim as well. It truly is possible despite all we have going on in our lives to have many cups that overfloweth so start overflowing!!!!

Post the link to YOUR dreams!

2009-02-22T18:14:00.001-08:00

What's your dream? Got a blog, website, or something I can help you promote? Reply to this post with a comment and your website address - I'll post my FAVORITE new link in "My Fav Links"!!!!

You're supporting my dreams just by being here so it's the least I can do!

I'm also interested in adding some graphic "ads" for other Mommy/Parenting/Going Green/Organic Living/Anything Good & Wonderful sites so if you have one, send it to me at joyful_exercise@Hotmail.com and I will try to post for you!!!!

Thanks again for all your support!

I'm working on my next blog entry on Teaching Your Child to Live in LOVE instead of FEAR. I'll put it up as soon as it's done!

In the meantime, I found this awesome site today so check it out! http://www.holistictwitter.com/

An "evolved" cartoon LOL!

2009-02-21T11:10:00.000-08:00

Found this cartoon on www.spiritualparenting.com today and had to bring it over here to spread the love and laughter. It just says it all! Check out that site by the way - it's got some great forums, blog and more.

Every Sunset Leads to Another Sunrise

2009-02-20T09:47:00.000-08:00

A gift for you...

Imagine you are here right now. Relax. Forget all your worries for just a moment and imagine you are the Sun, the Water, the Shore. Everything is just as it is meant to be right now in this beautiful moment. The sun might be setting on this moment but the next moment promises to be just as beautiful and wonderful.

What is the sun setting on in your life? Are you having to let go of something you felt was important in your life? What if you could see this letting go as a Sunset on this moment that will lead to another beautiful sunrise in the morning? Wouldn't it be less painful to let go if you knew the sun will rise again tomorrow morning to a million more beautiful moments?

Even though the sun sets and darkness falls, the depth of the Ocean still remains, the waves still crash into the shore and the Moon and Stars still illuminate the sky. It is never ever completely black. And the sunrise is always just hours away certain to arrive again.

When the sunsets on one aspect of your life, there is still an Ocean, Moon, and Stars. And although you might feel you are in a world of blackness, if you simply look around you will see that there are still a million little lights in the sky shining for you.

What are the Oceans, Moons and Stars in your life? Is it the love of your family? Is it that sense of inner peace that lives within you even when the darkness falls? Is it the people who light up the sky of your life with the bright lights shining within them every single day?

With every wave that meets the shore, an Ocean of hope, joy and peace meets you and greets you beckoning you to dive in. Take a leap of faith, strip off the clothes and things that you thought defined who you are and take a swim in the eternal well-spring of radical aliveness that is ALWAYS right here right now waiting for you to dive in.

Today, make an effort to reconnect with nature in some way. What a simple way to remind yourself how beautiful life is.

Stillness Speaks - 10 Tips on how to Bring the Transformative Power of Meditation into Your Life

2009-02-18T20:48:00.000-08:00

I don't know about you but for a long time when I heard the word "meditation" I pictured a Buddhist monk perched high atop a Tibetan hill or tucked away in a monastery humming "Ommm" as he made vows of celibacy and poverty.

Recently, I have rediscovered the transformational, calming and peace-infusing power of meditation again. You don't have to be a Buddhist monk or a Zen Teacher or a Reiki Master to practice this method of grounding and centering yourself amidst a crazy, hectic, overwhelmingly noisy world.

5 minutes a day of quiet meditation can change your life. Really. It has changed mine. I never thought I had "room" for it in my life because there's rarely a moment I get to myself. But really, 5 minutes a day? Can't I find that somewhere in the day? Since I have committed to it, its actually been quite simple. Its become so important to me that I schedule my time knowing I'll have no interruptions for those few minutes so I can fully enjoy it.

I also thought there was a method to meditation, some masterful art of imagery and imagination melding together to create the perfect formula for transformative being-ness. But that's not true either.

Its just as simple as sitting down, closing your eyes and going within. Pushing all thoughts aside for just a few moments. Every time a thought starts to enter your mind, simply send it away and go back to focusing on your breath, your heart, your soul. Breathe deeply in and out, slowly inhaling and exhaling. Each time you do so, you'll sink deeper and deeper into the peaceful stillness of who you really are. Once you have reached the point where you have created a gap in the constant stream of thought that races through your mind, just listen. Stillness speaks. Suddenly, without all the NOISE, you will be able to hear your heart, your intuition, your inner knowing, your inner reflection of God speaking to you clearly, guiding you. In this moment, you have the opportunity to feel nothing but peace, love, joy, stillness, contentment. You can quietly bring a question into your mind and then listen for the answer.

Daily meditation can help you to remember who you really are apart from the noisy, crazy, hectic life you lead. It can help you find an inner sense of peace that you can carry with you for the entire day throughout difficult situations. When you feel yourself starting to get caught up in worries, fear, negative emotions, or pain, you can stop and give yourself a few minutes to just get quiet and go within and reconnect with the deepest part of yourself that reassures you...no matter what, it will be ok.

Look at these 5 minutes of quiet time as a gift you give yourself and your family every day. Your own inner peace will help create inner peace for every member of your family because you affect them deeply. Your inner peace can spread like smiles beget smiles bringing peace and joy to all those you come in contact with. Look around you at the strangers on the street, in the coffee shop, on the highway and see how they are trying their best right now, see the Light of God/All that is/The Universe, the light that is there within all of us no matter what and remind them of how beautiful and wonderful they are. Greet them warmly with a smile. Take the time to help them open the door or pick up the pen they dropped or carry the groceries. This sort of joy is free to give and receive and it is infectious and contagious and karmatically correct - it will come back to you tenfold!

In these uncertain times where thousands are losing their homes, their jobs, their businesses, their ideas of what makes them happy, there are so many things happening to us that feel out of control. For many, their first instinct is to try and find control again, something to hold onto as the rock ledge they are climbing crumbles at their fingertips. But clearly, it is impossible to control everything in your life. The one thing you ARE in control of is your own sense of joy and inner peace. It is right there inside for you to tap into at any time, day or night. When you wake up first thing in the morning instead of starting the mind-crazed ticker tape of to do's streaming through your brain, push away all those thoughts for a few minutes and just be quiet. Listen to the sound of the birds chirping outside, the rain tapping gently on the windows or the buzzing whirr of your home and find beauty in that moment. Remind yourself of all the things you have to be grateful for. Think of how you can make today a beautiful day. There are so many simple and cost-free ways to make it a beautiful day, especially when you have joyous children around.

Then when those joyous children start throwing temper tantrums, wetting the bed, or spitting up on you, think back to that beautiful moment that started your day. Remember how peaceful and fulfilling that sense of inner peace was. Remind yourself not to take things personally when you start to feel defensive about something. Remind yourself that everyone else is always doing their best. Take a deep breath and remember, this too shall pass.

Here are a few simple tips for beginning meditation...

Find a quiet place in your home or outdoors that makes you feel peaceful. I like to sit on my bed with my legs crossed. Or if I am out and about, I find places of beauty wherever I am - a bench by a creek where I can focus on the sound of the rushing waters, a spot at the park where I can listen to the wind rushing through the trees. If I lived by a beach, I would certainly have a sandy spot at the seaside where I could breathe deeply in and out in tandem with the waves flowing into the shore.

Read a book that inspires you for a few moments before hand. The practice of reading automatically forces you to stop, be still, get quiet, and focus on something. Oftentimes, it will give me "food for thought" to meditate on once I have reached that place of inner stillness in my meditation. I will try to meditate on the words I just read to bring them more fully into my awareness and being, asking for guidance on how I can incorporate new ideas into my life to bring more joy to others and to myself.

Listen to relaxing, calming meditative music if it helps you. I often find that music just automatically puts me at ease. Certain songs reach straight to my heart and make it go off like a buzzer screaming "Here I am!" Lately, I've been playing "Latika's Theme" from Slumdog Millionaire in my car throughout the day. It immediately pulls me back to a sense of calm and peace no matter how stressed out I'm feeling. If you can, at some point, turn off the music and really be completely silent and still.

Take long, slow, deep breaths. If you have a hard time turning off that ticker tape in your mind, focus on something beautiful. Picture yourself on that beach laying in the ocean feeling the waves moving gently over your body. Or imagine yourself underneath the rushing water of an invigorating waterfall. From there, imagine what every single piece of that moment would taste, feel, smell and be like. Are there seagulls squawking in the distance? Can you smell the sea water in the air? Can you feel the sensation of the water gently caressing your skin? Is the sunshine warming your body from inside out? Once you have found focus on this imagery, gently move your thoughts within to find that quiet, peaceful, still place inside where you can just be and then rest there for as long as you can. When a thought enters your mind, gently send it away.

Adopt a mantra. A mantra can be any phrase that reminds you to turn off the noises in your head and go within. I use "Stillness speaks" because it really truly defines exactly what I'm trying to do, exactly the point I'm trying to get to. I imagine total blackness, or sometimes as I move through meditation, I imagine a light as if the Sun were meant for me alone, pouring its warm radiant rays down on me from the sky. I breathe in deeply as if I am inhaling the sun and all the positive energy of the Universe and if my mind starts to wander again, I simply think "Stillness speaks. Stillness speaks. Stillness speaks" until I find my quiet again.

Have no expectations for your quiet time. Although I'd love to say that if you meditate often enough and long enough, the cure for Cancer and the winning Lotto numbers will come to you, I can't. Answers that bring you superficial instant gratification probably will not come at this time unless you are psychic (and if you are, then please call me and give me those winning Lotto numbers too!). Suffice it to say, you may not find life-changing guidance or answers in every meditation. But sometimes, you will. Sometimes the simplest truths within prove to be the most profound methods of daily transformation in our lives.

Cool down. Just as in any exercise routine, you would take time after a vigorous workout to "cool down" and slowly bring your body back to regular activity, give yourself "cool down" time as you come out of a meditation. Gently bring yourself back to reality. As thoughts start to enter your mind, imagine that infinite light within and send some of that light at the problem or worry. Tell yourself you don't have to solve that problem right this second. Remind yourself that the problem will still be there when you are done. See the problem or thought as if you were looking at it through a stained glass of hope, joy and inner peace. Imagine yourself confronting the problem with an ultimate knowingness that it will work out just fine, with a faith in yourself that the solutions will come to you right when you need them. Bring yourself gently back to reality then open your eyes and take a few more deep breaths. Move gently into your next task.

Keep a pen and paper handy for post-mediational epiphanies. The most powerful and life-changing guidance often comes to us in these times of stillness. While they are fresh in your mind, jot down these transformational thoughts or "still speakings" you would like to remember. They could prove to be a useful tool in beginning your next meditation by re-reading them and meditating on them again.

Dare to share. Share your insights if you are brave. Reaffirm them to yourself and others throughout the day. Sure you may not have all the answers - who of us really does? But your own inner answers and ideas and truths for your life might remind others of their truths, answers and ideas. You have the power to inspire if you are brave enough to share. There is a powerful sense of freedom in openly conveying your enthusiasm for new ideas and truths. You should never feel a need to defend your ideas though because it is my belief we should practice acceptance of everyone we meet for exactly where they are at on their own spiritual journey. We can't change others. But we can inspire them. So if something moves you, if the stillness speaks to you, share your joy with everyone around you. Like I said, its infectious and its free and our world needs those simple pleasures more than ever now.

Practice "Awake Meditation" or "Mindful Meditation" throughout the day. STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES...REALLY! Find beauty in every moment. Stop right now and look around and find a piece of beauty. Is it the sunshine and blue sky outside? Is it the flowers growing in the garden? Is it knowing your shift is almost over?! Find a way to incorporate visual beauty in your life - whether it be connecting with art, nature, music or whatever it is that makes you joyful. Put a beautiful masterpiece of artwork on your computer as your screensaver, or a sticky note on your mirror that says "This is a beautiful moment", or on your lunch break take a walk down to the park and eat a picnic lunch, find a song that speaks to you or make a Peaceful Playlist for your IPOD to play whenever you need a dose of peace. Be thankful and grateful for every moment you are given and find the beauty in this moment right now even if all you can be thankful for is that you are learning and growing on this path you are on.

Meditation has the power to change your life. It is free. It is simple. 5 minutes a day can and will transform you if you fully commit to gently accepting and then sending away every thought that enters your mind. Give yourself this gift of peace every single day and just wait and see how it changes you and those around you.

Its changing me. I found time to stop and smell the roses in the midst of a hectic work day on Tuesday. After visiting several struggling businesses feeling saddened by each one's personal circumstances on the brink of survival in this treacherous economy, I found a bench next to the creek to sit on and meditate for a few moments. It was SO hard to turn off the ticker tape. All I wanted in that moment was to solve my problems and everyone else's and I just wanted some definitive, quantitative answers handed to me on a silver platter so I could go fix it all right now! But I knew that wasn't possible. I knew I had to turn off my thoughts of "Did I say the right thing? Did I close the sale? Will I be able to pay my bills if we lose more clients?" And just go within.

So right there at the bridge by Tlaquepaque which is road-construction central right now, amidst jackhammers, traffic noises, construction workers yelling and noises assaulting my senses on every level, I just stopped and closed my eyes and focused on the water. I thought to myself, "The creek is not worrying about where it is going right now. The shore is not angry that it is not under the water. The shore knows it's purpose is to be the Shore that meets the water. It holds the rocks and dirt and makes the beautiful island in the middle of the stream. The Shore is just as important as the creek in this beautiful picture perfect moment in time - its purpose of equal value in supporting the natural habitat of its surroundings. The water is moving gently across, through and around obstacles on to its destination wherever that may be. The water does not know exactly where it is going or how it will get there but still it just keeps flowing in and through and around the rocks, logs, trees, bushes, and debris to its final destination."

In that moment, the water taught me so much. If only I could live my life as a flowing stream moving in and through and around the obstacles I meet knowing the current will always carry me onward to a beautiful destination, whatever that may be.

Inhale. Exhale.

After a few minutes of quiet reflection which I truly did NOT want to end, I left that moment with answers. I did not have a magical formula to solve all the problems of the world but I knew one thing. I could do my best to reflect back to others who they really are. To remind them that no matter what, everything will be ok. To remind them they are not alone because so many of us are going through the same thing right now. To encourage them to find their own inner peace and trust that this is all part of the journey and this too shall pass.

I was able to share these "still speakings" with primarily 2 other key witnesses that day and both were transformed by our conversation because I dared to share. I know I don't have all the answers but when I trust The Voice Within and speak from my heart, my words are infused with love, joy, compassion and peace no matter what those words might be.

This blog is bringing me so much joy simply by giving me the hope that I might be able to improve your quality of life in any way large or small. It feels so good to share these things that are changing my life right now, even as I'm climbing the ledge and the rocks are crumbling at my fingertips.

As my dear friend "Beeb" put it so well...

"I will gladly sit down to the lovely pitcher of lemonade you have made from the orchard of lemons life has given you."

Parenting ALIVE

2009-02-18T08:04:00.000-08:00

Parenting ALIVE

By Megan Aronson, Eternal Parent-in-Training, seeker of truth and joy, sharer of truth and joy. Mother, Wife, Lover, Friend, TV Host, Salesperson, Professional Writer, Professional Reader, and so much more. Learning my own lessons and sharing them as they come in hopes of reminding Who. You. Really. Are. Just as I am remembering who I really am.

What is “Parenting Alive?”

It’s a simple day-to-day mode of parenting through joyful and radical aliveness.
It is giving and receiving the GIFT that our children present us with - far beyond the joy and fulfillment they bring…it is the gift to experience Heaven on Earth.

When a child arrives on this Earth, plucked fresh from the hand of God/The Creator/The Universe/All That Is, they are pure and innocent born into a Heaven on Earth without any worries about the future. They live eternally in the present moment, joyfully embracing each and every single second in the here and now.

Through our relationships with our children, we have the unbelievably miraculous opportunity to experience Heaven on Earth even amidst the puke rags, blown out diapers, temper tantrums, and bedwetting.

When you are radically alive, awakened to a higher state of consciousness in which you recognize that you are “related” to every being on this planet, you find compassion, peace, calm and stillness even in the mundane, even in the hectic, even in the miserable.

Freedom from suffering is accepting this present moment as exactly what is supposed to be happening right now. You can still plan for the future, but not out of a sense of lack or need because really you have everything you need right now. Stop for a moment and think about that. Right now, right here in this moment, look around you and see all the beauty you have in your life. I bet you have found ways to meet your needs and your child’s needs today. I bet that if you stripped away your financial worries and any other worries you might have, you would see that right now, you have everything you need to make this moment beautiful. If you don’t believe me, go find the most joyful piece of music you can find (I like Serius radio BPM station) and have a DANCE PARTY with your kid. Jump up and down like a kid, lose yourself in the music, let go and just be in the moment joyfully with your child or all by yourself. Let yourself be completely present in the moment dancing with your child and make it a beautiful moment.

This is being fully present. You did not worry if the music was the “right” music, if more music would come, if you were dancing well enough, if your child was dancing well enough, if you were teaching your child the right dance moves or developing his/her hand/eye coordination. You didn’t worry about what you will eat today or how you will pay the bills. You were just fully present in the moment enjoying everything beautiful about it - the music, the exhilaration, the emotional release of joy, the racing of your heart, the joy on your child’s face, etc.

You are a part of a boundless Universe with unlimited possibilities and if you believe you can have it all, you will. This doesn’t mean winning the lottery and having all the money in the world because the best of us know that the billionaires of this world are not necessarily the happiest people alive. Money does not buy happiness. What this means is simply put FINDING WHAT YOU LOVE and LOVING WHAT YOU FIND. Embracing the experiences you are having right now as exactly what is meant to be right now. You are affecting others in ways large and small - in ways you may never understand, or in ways that will be revealed down the road. Something that might look terrible to you right now could end up being a blessing down the road for you or someone else. You might never fully understand exactly how you are affecting everyone else on the planet each moment, but if you can remember that you ARE affecting everyone else on the planet each moment, you can trust that even the bad things happening in your life can be used for good in your life and in other’s.

What is Faith?

Faith is trusting that everyone is doing the best they can right now.

Faith is not ignorance because of course we work to protect our children and give them the best we can every day. Faith is understanding that whatever we need is available to us if we reach for it, ask for it, trust it will come to us when we need it. Sometimes we think we need something and really we don’t. You think you need your house but really the joy of your family can exist in a mansion, an apartment, a homeless shelter or any place you make your home.

When we morph into a role of parenthood or grandparenthood or any role of growing a child in any way, we often tend to get caught up in the tangled web of our minds constantly worrying about everything. Am I a good parent? Am I doing the best I can for my child? Am I providing enough for my child? How will I provide for my family in the future? How will I pay my bills? How will I balance working and being a good parent? How can I be a better parent than my parents were to me?

Even more infectious are the every day worries of getting the laundry done, the errands run, the dinner made, the diapers changed, the bills paid, the rugs cleaned, the baby fed, etc.

It is easy to get caught up in fears anywhere on the journey to, through, and into parenthood.
For me, the fear began long before I even conceived my first child. My fears were conceived at the exact moment I very first began to ponder the thought of becoming a parent. From there, my fears only grew more and more intense. I lived most of my entire pregnancy in complete and utter, paralyzing fear of the Unknown, certain this child was going to turn my world upside down in the most permanent way possible. The looming question of doubt that haunted me was always “Will I be able to handle it all?”

I feel as though I robbed myself of the joy of pregnancy by living every day of it in worry. There were only few rare moments where I was really able to be 100% alive and open to the unbelievable once-in-a-lifetime experience I was having of growing my child in my womb. I like to imagine how I would have lived it differently had I known everything I know now, had I known it would all be ok no matter what. It would all turn out fine. More than fine in fact. Divine. Perfect. Blessed. Amazing. Beautiful. Crazy. Wonderful. Amazing. Amazing. Amazing.

If you are sitting there thinking well of course she’s happy, she must more than I have, I must let you know that I am going through the same thing so many of us on this planet are going through right now…being stripped down of all the “stuff” I thought made me who I am, what I am, and how I am…stripped down to who I REALLY am without any of the “things” I thought I “needed” recreating new versions of “happy” every single day. I never thought I could be happy without these things…yet, I am.

Thought for the Day
You are a MODEL to your child.

They copy everything we do it seems. My daughter mimicked my tendency to exclaim “Oh Sh!t” when I would drop something until I learned to watch my tongue. She wants to put make-up on when she sees me doing mine, wants to wear high heels to go to “chooch” (church) - all of these are learned behaviors.

Wow, what power I have! What other behaviors of BEING-NESS would I like to teach my daughter? What could I model to her that will help her grow into the being who she is meant to be, to realize the amazing being she is right now, to retain her childlike innocence for all time?

I could teach her to be present in this moment. She can teach me to be present in this moment. I can teach her not to waste this moment with worrying or hypothesizing about problems that don’t yet exist. I can teach her to be still and listen to the voice within that will guide her through life making it more like water flowing within a river of raindrops rather than a fish swimming upstream against the current. I can teach her to trust that we have everything we need right here, right now. That when we need something else, it will be there. That “stuff” doesn’t define who I am, that we can be happy without stuff.

When children are young and fresh from the womb still retaining their innocence at the age my child is at for example which is 21 months, they are amazing models for us. My daughter doesn’t worry about what she’ll wear today and what people will think about it. She doesn’t obsess over her make-up or her shoes matching her outfit. She doesn’t worry about where her next meal will come from. She trusts that all of that will be provided for her, that her needs will always be met because they have always been. Just as you have always done your best to provide for your child so he/she would have that trust in you, YOU can trust your higher power/Creator/God/The Universe/All That Is/The Voice Within/Your Intuition/Whatever You Believe In even if all you can believe in is yourself…that you will always have everything YOU need.

From The Translucent Revolution - a book that is changing my life in big ways and small every single day…

“On the new Earth, enjoyment will replace wanting as the motivating power behind people’s actions."